|| Love to Hate Me ||

{Thirty-Three}

"I watched you suffer a dull aching pain
Now you've decided to show me the same
No sweeping exit or offstage lines
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind."
-Wild Horses, The Rolling Stones
__________

The film Looper played loudly in the background on the television. Harlan sat at the table, oblivious of Laura sitting next to him.

Kyle and Liana were sitting on the lounge across the isle in the bus; Liana was the only one that seemed remotely interested in the movie. Mark sat at the end of the table, inconspicuously flexing his arm muscle to get Laura's attention.

Harlan couldn't seem to pull his eyes away from Liana. Every time her eyes wavered his way, his heart seemed to stop for a moment. He prayed she'd change her mind—he prayed she'd give him another chance.

Who was he kidding—he didn't deserve another chance. She was right, at the first sign of trouble, Harlan had resorted back to his old ways. He was great at sabotaging his own happiness; his one chance to truly be happy.

Laura slid her hand up Harlan's thigh, the gesture prompting him to peel his eyes away from Liana. "Do you party?" Laura asked.

The question caused Harlan to slip into his typical façade. He smirked, the corner of his mouth turning up. "Do I party... is that even a question?"

"I have some connections down here. There's a party happening at this warehouse-"

"A rave? That's not really my scene." Harlan smiled.

"Not exactly." Laura snickered.

Liana glanced at the unusually close pair, watching as Harlan and Laura shared a moment. She felt her blood run cold at the sight.

"So what do you say? You wanna come with me? The host of this... party," Laura quoted the air with a smile, "he's a huge fan. If I bring you, I'll get half off my supply."

Harlan nodded. He had only known Laura for the span of three days and she was already using him—typical. But if there was anything Liana had taught him, it was to give others the benefit of the doubt. At least Laura had been honest about why she wanted him to tag along.

"Sure, it's not like I'm doin' anything else." Harlan shrugged. "I've already seen this movie, by the way." Harlan leaned back, talking loudly to get Mark's attention. "He kills his younger self, he finds out it's a cycle and that he's the problem. Get it, Looper?"

"Fuck you." Mark scoffed. "Always ruining movies I haven't seen. Dick move, man... dick move."

"We gonna call an Uber?" Laura asked, ignoring Mark completely.

"I don't know... Lee?" Harlan spoke; the sound her name leaving his mouth cut like a knife. Her eyes shifted to Harlan, her expression blank. "Laura said there's some party... care if we take the bus there?"

"Why?" Liana spoke curtly; short and to the point.

"Curfew. I don't know how far it is and I don't wanna get chewed out for gettin' lost or somethin'." Harlan said.

"When have you ever cared about curfew?" Liana shot back.

She was annoyed by how close Laura seemed to be with Harlan. She tried reminding herself of Laura's sexual orientation—but this was Harlan—Harlan Hayworth. She was sure he had the ability to sway one's sexual preference, at least for one night.

"A party? Shit, I'll go!" Kyle spoke up. "Beats sittin' here watching a movie Harlan just blew the ending to."

"Lee... you comin'?" Harlan asked; his tone nearly begging.

"No, I'm probably just gonna go to sleep. It's fine, just tell Jimmy where it's at and he'll take you guys." Liana stood from the narrow couch, making her way toward the back of the bus.

Harlan would've given anything to lie with her—to hold her until she fell asleep. He'd much rather be in her arms than in a crowded room with intoxicated strangers.

One more month. Only one more month, and Harlan would be free. No longer would he have to face her everyday—face the mistakes he had made. No longer would he have to live with the reminder of the love he had lost.

Right now, Harlan was going to live. If he couldn't have her, he was going to try to forget about her.