Brendon Urie x Reader (includes smut)

His Last Letter

You haven't gotten out of bed for a month and a half. The longest trip you've made was to the bathroom and that was exhausting and didn't seem worth it. Your eyes were puffy from crying. You were surrounded by messy sheets and Brendon's Things. You've looked over each and every item, throwing yourself into a panic attack when you do.
Your friends check in on you, but they walk on glass around you. It's almost as if they set rules before coming to comfort you. Fans blow up your phone, but you smashed it when you found out. No one can help you. You're spiraling.
You push out a few tears and notice something you hadn't seen before. You looked through everything a million times over, yet you had missed this. You get up and grab a folded paper that slipped under the dresser. The front of the letter read, "To the love of my life."
You open the letter and the tears seemed to understand that you needed to read this. If this letter allows Brendon to seem more alive, then you need to be able to see it. You sit back on the bed and begin to read the letter.

Y/N,
I know the cancer is getting closer and closer to my brain. I'll be gone any day. You are the only reason I still have hope and I still hold on. I decided that I would leave this letter to remind you of all the things that I love about you. I also thought that since we won't get our future, I would create it in this letter. Maybe it will help you move on and not hold on to the pain.
I love that when we first met, you weren't shy. You are so funny and you made me feel so at home. I love when you squint your nose when you laugh. I love when you give me puppy dog eyes because I wouldn't walk Cupcake with you. I mean, who takes cats on walks? I love how excited you were when we got engaged and how beautiful you were when we got married. I had the best time in Barcelona on our honeymoon. I love that you put up with me and support me through everything. When I am hopeless, you push me and yourself to stay positive.
I love you, Y/N. I would've loved our two beautiful children that we would have worked so hard to raise. I would've loved our six grandchildren, even though our kids never knew how to stop. I would have loved growing old with you and spending our days rock n' rolling in our rocking chairs. I'm so happy that I had the chance to spend my life with you.
I'm sorry that you received the short end of the stick. If I make it through this, I will never be able to make up for the love and support you have shown me. If I don't make it through this, I want you to know that you have been so amazing to me. Don't hold on to this, Y/N. Move on and get the future you wanted. Don't forget about me, but don't be held back. Please.

With every last bit of love I have
to give,

Brendon

You fold the letter up and wipe the tears that had escaped. You feel his warmth and love, even though he is gone. You smile for the first time in a long time. Tears keep pouring and you laugh. You cry and laugh and wonder if you've gone insane. You haven't. You are so overwhelmed with how great he was. This letter alone helped immensely with your disparity. You lay back down in bed and actually rest instead of cry.

I will always love you, Bren.