The Bitter Everythings || ✓

chapter || 07

•Δ| Chapter Seven ;; looked like a big mistake.

< Lana's P.O.V >

=

As soon as I reached home, I had a serious meltdown. Like the whole ugly crying, unable to breathe, chest ache kinda meltdown.

Believe me, its not easy to keep up a facade. Especially when that facade involves keeping a whole part of yourself hidden from your friends.

This constant pretend was tiring me out and I was afraid that I was tired way too soon in this journey.

With all honesty, I was used to pretending. Smiling even when my mind was nearly numb with all the thoughts running through it, laughing even when everything felt  distant and lonely. And being there for others when I couldn't even be there for myself.

Life had been tough on me before. But I had made it through. My past life, a combination of mistakes and horrifying experiences, had made me strong. And though I had left it all behind, I had become strong because of it. So I believe if I could get past that drama, then I can get past anything.

What was difficult was the fact that I had fought through the past situations, but right now I had to remain patient and quiet.

Especially regarding my feelings for Levi.

They were weird and awkward, scattered all over the place and messing with my head.

Because somewhere I knew that the only reason I felt this way towards Levi was because I was torn away from the person I truly loved. I knew this was a kind of rebound, a toxic way of getting over the fact that I couldn't get the person that I really loved. But somehow I also knew that as time passed, this thing I had for Levi had become serious enough. The typical high school crush type.

But what annoyed me was that the one person I crush on, happens to be my best friend.

He isn't the only one you crush on Lana. Not the only one.

I shook my head to erase that thought.

Useless thoughts weren't needed right now. Not now.

I knew that today was going be a long day. I felt it somehow. I could sense it.

Ignoring the weird feeling, I sat infront of the television and switched to my favourite channel to start watching Hannah Montanna.

I knew I was kind of old for this but I liked the concept of her living two lives, even though it was stupid to assume that people won't recognize you if you just put a wig on.

But, who doesn't like her?

I mean she is someone who many people would want to be! And she is perfect.

After watching the television for about some while, I did some of my homework knowing that I wouldn't get time to do it later and then I planned to get ready.

As usual, by the time I got ready it was already 5:45, so I sat in my dining room, going through my phone.

I rarely let people see my phone. There's too much in here that can expose me and my double life. There were pictures of him, of my new friends, of things that people didn't know about.

The bell rang, signalling Levi's arrival. I already knew who it was so I slowly walked to the door, took a deep breath to calm myself down, checked if I had everything I needed and opened the door.

'Hey, you ready to leave?' Levi asked while giving me a onceover.

'Yeah, as usual.' I said, trying to fake a smile and avoid looking anywhere except of Levi's face.