You wish Potter : A Jily Fanfiction

Professor Dipply

The Great Hall was quiet that morning. Students sat picking idly at toast and eggs, still full from the feast the night before; it was too early for any post, because they had only been back for a day; and nobody was looking forward to the start of lessons.

The Gryffindor sixth-years had Defence Against the Dark Arts with Ravenclaw first. Their new teacher, Professor Dipply, had seemed like a bit of a wet flannel at the feast. He was balding slightly, and had an off-putting twitch on the left side of his face, so when he smiled, a little bit of grey dribble ran down his chin. James and Sirius had been doing impressions of him all evening in front of a small crowd that had gathered in the Gryffindor common room. Lily wasn't among them, but even she hadn't been able to stifle her laughs during his speech. When he dribbled on the podium, laughter rippled through the Great Hall. James had nudged Peter, and with a smug smile, slyly flicked his wand. The owl's eyes glinted before it sprung to life, circled the blithering speaker, and flew over the heads of the staff, out the window, and into the velvety black night.

"It's going to be awful," groaned Remus into his breakfast. "Absolute torture!"

"I reckon," Dorcas declared, "the fire's lit but the cauldron's empty, if you know what I mean."

"Shush, Dorc," whispered Mary. "He'll hear you."

"No he won't!" Dorcas spoke even louder this time. "Look at him wittering on to McGonagall. He's like bowtruckles on doxy eggs!"

"Hah! Her face!" laughed Marlene through a mouthful of toast.

"Reminds me of Prongs and Evans; I reckon that's love blossoming there," announced Sirius waving his fork around.

As if on cue, Lily came storming down the hall. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes were narrowed; she was having a go at James, who was strolling behind her, smiling at the back of her head, seemingly unperturbed.

"Out of curiosity, Potter, how do you feel about being turned into a toad?" Lily scowled.

"Generally negative," James shrugged.

"That's what I figured," she replied drily.

He winked at his friends as they approached their seats. Lily slammed her bag onto the table, sat down hard, and began to shovel food onto her plate, still glaring at James.

"Great, thanks Lils," said Dorcas with obvious sarcasm as she tore her toast out from under Lily's book-filled bag. Lily didn't hear her.

"Why do you care one way or the other if I snogged her?" James asked, narrowing his eyes at Lily as he sat down opposite her.

"I don't care!"

"No, evidently. Leg-locker curses are a classic gesture of indifference."

"Merlin, Potter, you are so infuriating!" she muttered, heat rising to her cheeks both from anger and embarrassment. "I'm James Potter," she began in a husky voice. She closed her eyes and tossed her hair around. "And I shag girls left and right like some common goblin, because I don't care about anyone!" Lily finished with a final flick of her hair. Sirius hid a laugh in his glass of orange juice.

"Wow. Is my voice really that sexy to you?" James rested his chin on his hand, grinning, and raised his eyebrows.

Lily's stomach flipped. "Gah! Marlene, tell Potter he's a goblin please."

"You're a right common goblin, James Potter!" Marlene took a large bite of her toast. "And you sounded like Michael Caine with a cold," she said, turning to Lily. Sirius was still laughing into his glass and his shoulders started to shake violently.