my girl | brendon urie

24

"that was some scream" brendon said as we walked through the front door. "sarah gives good advice" i said as he shut the door and we walked to the kitchen. "why'd you scream?" sarah asked, putting snacks on the table. "well the people in my class are assholes and think suicide is funny. oh and bullying someone is great" i said.

"wait!? they're doing it to you!?" brendon exclaimed. "how long?" sarah asked uncertainly. "a while" i say guiltily. "how long?" brendon asked sternly. "okay it's been happening since i started school but it wasn't THAT bad. now it's kinda shitty but oh well" i shrugged. "oh well!? what the fuck! your getting bullied. that isn't okay! why didn't you tell us before hand?" brendon asked. "i've been bullied most of my life. i didn't think it was that important" i shrugged. "it is!" sarah insisted. "whoops" i said awkwardly.

i went to my room and took my make up off and brushed my hair. then there was a knock at the door. i ran to it and opened it to see ryan. "hey" i said awkwardly" "hey. can we talk?" he asked. "uh sure"

we sat on the stairs of my house talking. "she was so cheerful. i never knew she was...dying" he said. "she was a good kid. she's in heaven" i said. "thanks for looking out for her though" he said. "anytime. if your family needs anything, we're here" i insist as brendon came out. "aww!" he said. "gross!" we exclaimed together. "you two are adorable" he joked, giving us a pepsi each. "brendon i swear i will leak your new-" "no! shh! lana stop!" he squealed. "that's what i thought" i smiled.

"i made a memory book for her. it was brendon's idea" i said, as he flipped through the pages. tears filled his eyes . "it's beautiful." he whispered. "aw" i smiled. "do you think we could make one for me and my family?" he asked. "sure!"

i let him chill with the dogs for a bit while i got the supplies: the sprocket, a cable,  an empty scrapbook (it was for my school project but fuck it) and sharpies.

i went back downstairs and we sat on the floor and spread everything out. i plugged his phone in and we printed the photos out and arranged them in the book. we stuck them down and wrote cute things and some of her sayings.

after we finished he gave me a hug. i was surprised at first but i slowly hugged him back. "thanks so much lana. really. i appreciate this so much" he said. "hey. i'm here for you" i patted his shoulder.

i went to look for brendon as i had a very important question. "yeah what's up?" he asked, putting his phone down. "well...uh...actually it's-its stupid" i insist. "no! ask!" he encouraged me. "well errr...how do you...you know..." i trail off. "no i don't" he said blankly. "it's-its nothing" i said. "lana c'mon! i wanna know!" he smiled kindly.

"how do you know your sexuality?"

fuck. "uh i'm gonna go do something?" "hey no!" he stopped me from running. "i feel so deeply ashamed" i mumbled. "lana it's not weird. i lost my virginity when i was younger than your age as i was discovering myself" he said "oh good. i don't feel weird anymore" i said. he laughed and then got serious again.

"i really don't know how to describe it. but just know that it changes. you could feel bi one second and gay the next. it really dosent matter. but don't rush into finding out, you get me? take your time. and hey, if you do need to experiment then feel free. yolo" he said. "i'm gonna go bury myself in blankets" i mumbled with embarrassment. "have fun. and no matter what happens i love you!" he yelled as i ran away.

that was fucking awkward.