Sunshine | Farkle

20: farkle meets falling

"we fall in love by chance, and stay in love by choice."

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"The way the world works is crazy," Raina Faith mutters to herself as she sits by my bedroom window. She had this weird fascination for the outside world. She told me she liked to see things from a bigger picture now instead of focusing on an individual story. I find that beautiful.

Her blue eyes flicker from building to building, car to car, person to person. The reflection of her blue eyes blink back at her as the glass reveals her in her true form. A baggy cream colored sweater falls loosely on her torso, her collar bones prominent and her one shoulder barely exposed. Raina Faith seems to be drowning in her way-too-large-yet-way-too-comfy clothes. It looks as if this is her happy place: watching people carry on with their lives.

"It's just...so weird knowing that all the people down there each have their own lives and their own stories, you know?" she continues to mumble. In her mind, I know she thinks this is nonsense, but I find it interesting. I even set aside my homework for a moment just to listen to her soothing voice speak.

Her small finger presses against the glass as she points. "I see a person right now, carrying three boxes of big presents and he can barely see over them. He just bumped into someone," Raina Faith explains. "Do you wonder where he's going? I think he might be surprising the love of his life or showering his mother in gifts."

Raina sighs before nuzzling her nose into her legs that were pressed against her chest. Her eyes blink rapidly before she itches the tip of her button nose and pulls back a piece of dark chocolate hair that fell from the messy bun on her head.

"We live on a blue planet," she laughs before looking up at my ceiling of stars. "and it circles around a ball of fire next to a moon that moves the sea," Raina marvels. She giggles to herself again, "And yet, it still feels like my problems are bigger than the whole picture."

"Your problem is looking at the whole picture," I say. I snap out of the daze I had been put under after listening to her soft, melodic voice.

Raina furrows her brows in confusion and I toss aside my notebook and textbook before motioning her towards me. She hops off of a cushioned chair that I definitely didn't ask my dad for just so she could sit by the window and gaze. Joyously, she plops down onto my bed and instinctively burrows into the blankets.

"To fix your problems, you need to study them without overthinking. You constantly want to look at the big picture because you want to take other people's emotions into account when you make a decision," I say. Raina Faith reacts by cinching her brows and staring at me like I have two heads. "You need to focus on you because you are your first priority."

"Farkle," she whispers.

"Yes?"

"Why don't people like me?"

I stare at her face, examining the way her blue eyes twinkle underneath the bright lights of my room. I watch her tongue poke out for the slightest second to graze over her chapped lips. It reminds me of her silly smile that makes my heart fuzzy. It reminds me of how easy it is for me to laugh whenever she tells me a joke. I look at her rosy cheeks that blush so easily when I compliment her. I adore her. I like her so much.

I shrug. "I don't know," I sigh in realization. How could someone not like her? "I don't have the answer for everything."

Raina turns from her side to lie down on her back. "I wish you did."

I slowly slide underneath the covers, feeling Raina's body heat as we both gaze at the stars. I look at this planetarium every single night and I still can't stop comparing this beauty to Raina's. Taking a deep breath, I tear my eyes from the ceiling and to the side of Raina's head. Feeling my stare, she turns to face me as well.

She hesitates before saying, "You're an amazing person, Farkle."

At her randomness, I chortle. "What?"

"You don't realize it, but the way you're always there for your friends is truly inspiring. Friendship is so important. Thank you for teaching me that because I didn't know that before," Raina confesses.

"People change people," I murmur under my breath, butch Raina hears me.

"You change me for the better," she says before scooting closer to me. "Thank you for that."

I want to kiss her. I want to kiss her so badly. She was right there. All I had to do was gently grab her stupidly pretty face and press my lips against her's. I want to kiss her into oblivion. I want to curl my toes at the sheer happiness of sharing such an intimate moment with her. I adore her. I like her. I'm falling—

I'm falling.

I blink rapidly, catching Raina Faith off guard. She asks me what's wrong and so could only stammer out a sorry excuse of an answer. Shrugging, she hops out of my bed and slips on her shoes before announcing she had to be home before dinner. I sit up and wave goodbye as she walks out my bedroom door.

I'm still in shock. I press my hand against my chest and try to steady my breathing. I'm falling. I'm falling so quickly and so magically that I don't even care if she won't be there to catch me. I'm falling and I'll continue to fall until someone convinced me not to.