Sunshine | Farkle

16: farkle meets maya's concern

"you can't expect her to trust people when she's still coughing up water from the last time someone let her drown."

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Earlier in the day, I stopped by Raina Faith's apartment and her mom hugged me and told me to have a snack before leaving. I was only dropping off the history homework Raina missed after staying home due to her cold. I wanted to visit her in her room, but as soon as I stepped into her bedroom, amused with her disappearance, I knew she was in her book nook.

Sure enough, I enter her little library and find her under thousands of blankets and multiple, empty mugs scattered at the foot of her sanctuary. Raina Faith was asleep, a copy of The Perks of Being a Wallflower resting on her torso. Her eyelashes lay against her porcelain cheeks that were dusted with the slightest blush. It felt like a crime to wake her up just to say hello, so I casted one last adoring look at her before leaving.

          Upon arriving at my friends and I's usual hangout, I was surprised to only see Maya sitting on one of the couches. Her hands were clasped together and resting on her lap. The sound of the bell above the door caused her blue eyes to land on me as I slowly enter. Smiling, I sit beside her and wait for her to say what's on her mind. Just from the look of distress, I knew something was up.

          "Ugh," she groans. "I hate when you look at me like that," Maya grumbles.

           With amusement on my face, I ask, "Like what?"

          Maya flicks the tip of my nose before it wrinkles in pain. I stammer out an ow before she sighs in exasperation and falls backwards until she was a slumped figure sinking into the cushions of the couch. "Like you know there's something wrong," she mumbles.

          Following her footsteps, I slowly sink into the seat. "Well is there something wrong?"

          Maya turns to me slowly, our noses barely touching before she nods her head. Her blue eyes shine in worry before she turns her face away once again. Nibbling her bottom lip, she confesses, "I don't like that you're with Raina Faith."

          That is not what I was expecting at all. I assumed it would have been the usual Maya problem that we've overcame before. I thought it would have been something along the lines of, I haven't had any new inspiration for my art or I miss my dad more than usual, but I don't want to admit it. To my surprise, it was an unexpected opinion that suddenly made my heart plummet into my stomach.

         "W-What?" I stammer.

          Sighing, Maya nods. "I thought I've made it pretty obvious that I haven't liked her since the beginning."

           "But why?" I question as I sit up straighter. It was like a rod was suddenly shoved through my spine. I feel rigid and uncomfortable, two emotions I've never experienced around Maya.

          "I want what's best for you and I don't think she is. Don't you think there's something off about her?" Maya tries to conclude. I blink rapidly at her before shaking my head in disagreement. A bitter laugh falls from her pink lips. "Of course you don't think there's anything wrong with her. You're too blinded by your emotions."

I try to shake my head again, as if doing that would clear the fog clogging up all my thoughts. When my vision steadies, I look to Maya again, but the condescending features on her face stayed the same.

"Maya, I still don't get it," I say. I dislike how my voice showcased the obvious pain I felt when she disapproved of someone I held dear to my heart. I've known Maya since the first grade. I've been in love with her since then and hearing her negative opinion on a girl I see myself being with genuinely hurt. Why? I didn't quite know. I guess her opinion was just that important to me and my life.

Maya scratches the side of her head before standing up. "Farkle, she'll only break your heart, you do know that right?" she asks.

I stand up as well. "How do you know that?"

"Because that's how love works!" she shouts in exasperation. You could see the pain behind her eyes from witnessing every relationship in her life fall a part. Maya's voice turns soft. "People fall in love, and then they leave. You don't deserve that, Farkle." Her eyes became glossy. "You deserve to be happy."

"And what if she makes me happy?"

Maya opens and closes her mouth like she had something to say, but just couldn't say it. She groans in annoyance before clenching her fists beside her sides. "I'm trying really hard to do what's best for you," she says shakily. "I love you, Farkle."

My hard expression softens. "And I love you," I reassure her. "Your opinion will change in the future because you'll meet someone who will make you rethink everything you've ever thought," I tell her. She laughs softly at the idea of someone loving her unconditionally. Maya looks up at me due to the height difference. Her facial expression itself asks me how I know what I'm saying. "We define love the way we experience it," I say. "I promise you that you will experience a kind of love so grand that this conversation will seem idiotic in the future."

Maya's face contorts into one of confusion before looking to her feet. There isn't a doubt in my mind that I know who she's thinking about. "You don't think I've experienced that kind of love yet?" she questions.

In other words, Maya asks if her and Lucas are or are going to be that kind of show stopping, whimsical kind of love. Sadly, I shake my head.

"If you still have that opinion, then no. You haven't experienced it yet."