Sunshine | Farkle

07: raina meets jexica

"wanting to be someone else is a waste of who you are."

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          "I hear the freshman just joined the social network," Mr. Matthews says as he stares out into the mass of students in his classroom. I sit by the window, liking the view of the bustling city. Sometimes making up stories about random people's lives is more interesting than my own. Other times, it serves as a great distraction.

          For example, Mr. Matthews had been lecturing for the past ten minutes and I have no idea what he's talking about now.

          "Okay, I guarantee you guys that what historians will say about us is that we're a society that spent a lot of time with a click or a like or a comment," he says. Looking around, my eyes land on Farkle, a small smile tugging at the corners of my mouth as he nods along to every word Mr. Matthews says. "And it's especially easy if nobody knows who you are, because a lot of people spend their time posting under anonymous names. Is that a good thing or bad thing?"

          "Good," Riley states as soon as the word "Bad" leaves my lips in a loud enough volume that everyone turns to me. For the first time since school began, the attention shifted from the usual six to me.

          "Why good?" Matthews asks his daughter.

          "Just good," Riley splutters, not knowing what else to say.

          "Why bad?" I didn't realize he was speaking to me until I could feel the pairs of eyes burning into my skin.

           My mouth falls open to speak, nerves clogging my throat. "Sometimes....sometimes, uh, not having a real identity can encourage someone to be...to be negative online," I say, words tripping over other words. Mr. Matthews smiles at me in agreement.

           "Or someone who is too scared to express themselves gets an undeserved moment of attention."

          The first thing that came to mind was Stuart. What if he isn't who he says it is? It's so easy for someone to fake a personality online. Every word on a screen is just a lie coming from a keyboard. A sick feeling settled within me as the loud speaker calls down a student named Jexica.

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          "Who the hell does Jexica think she is?" Sarah asks bitterly, leaning against a wall in the hallways and watching students animatedly talk about the teenage girl making a mark on our generation.

           "I think she's cool," I admit. I shrug my shoulders as well and scroll through the girl's profile once more. She had blue hair, which I thought was bold. I would never be able to do that. She spoke about her likes and dislikes so confidently, something I admire.

            "Of course you think she's cool," Sarah groans while throwing her head back to hit the metal lockers. At the impact, she instantly stood straighter. "What if she joins our group and we become even more popular?"

          "Not everything is about becoming popular," I wanted to say, but instead I just nod along. Oh my God. I was turning into Darby and Yogi. Always nodding and completely mindless.

"I've got it!" Sarah shouts. "I'm Jexica."

"No you're not," I laugh, surprised at the own words that slip from my mouth.

Sarah glares at me before explaining he master plan to me. "No one has come forward as Jexica, so what if I do it tomorrow at school? Increase in popularity," Sarah states.