Loaded

Dicks and stones

"Fuck off" I mutter as I rub the sleep from my eyes. My phone has been ringing constantly for what seems like an hour. I know it's not important because if it were they would call my landline, I plan to ignore the call but Butch has decided now is the best time to start barking.

I drag myself out of bed and pull myself across the floor towards the offending phone. It can't be late, I feel like I just closed my eyes. The stress from the night before is back on my feet as I sluggishly move. Every muscle aches. Stripper heels may look sexy as sin but they're a killer on the feet.

I inwardly groan as my mother's name flashes on my cell screen, it's too early to deal with her shit. I don't know if to ignore her or whether thst would make things worse.

"9 o clock, the bitch" I say as I stick a finger up at the still ringing phone.

"Mother" I say formally as I take her call. I'm regretting my decision already.

"Savannah I have been calling you for the last half an hour, why didn't you answer. It could have been an emergency" mother's tone is like venom, I can imagine the disapproving glare on her face. It's a look I know well.

I roll my eyes, this is a knee jerk reaction every time I hear her voice. I can't stop myself from being annoyed by her.

"If it We're an emergency you would call the landline, that is in fact the reason you insisted I have it installed" I grit my teeth and hope that I'm not being incredibly rude.

"Oh Yes I forgot about that, anyway I'm calling to tell you that your brother Joseph got married in Vegas at the weekend so I'm having to throw a last minute reception on Saturday at the house"

Married, who's the unlucky woman. I don't even recall that he was dating anyone. I can tell by the way she speaks that's she not impressed, mother loves to throw a party and Joseph eloping means she's missed out on throwing an ostentatious wedding. "How inconsiderate"

"Yes I agree, he could have given us some notice before he eloped. How he expects me to throw a suitable reception with only 5 days notice I do not know"

I bite my lip yo suppress my laugh, trust Kathleen Gilmore to make it all about her. "Does Joesph and ..."

I realise I don't know the brides name, luckily my mother finishes my sentence.

"Toni" clear distaste is clear in her voice. No doubt that Toni and my brother are well aware of her feelings, she has never been able to keep her thoughts to herself.

"Toni, did Joseph and Toni ask you to throw a reception"

Mother tuts like I've asked a stupid question, actually I think she does it every time I open my mouth. "They don't have to ask me savannah, Joseph is my only son and I refuse to let an occasional as important as this go by without a celebration. Even if it is a mistake that will end in divorce"

"How optimistic, do you not think they eloped so they could avoid all the unnecessary fuss"

I hear my mother take a huge gasp, I've knocked the wind from her. " unnecessary fuss, I can't believe you said that. Actually I can, you have always been difficult. A wedding is the most important day in your life , you will see one day."

"Sorry" I'm not sorry but if I don't apologise then she will go on for hours and I really want to go back to bed.

"The reception is at the house at 8 on Saturday, I'll make up your old room. Please arrive early so we can avoid any unnecessary embarrassment"

Before I can reply she releases the call, typical.

"Butch it appears I have a trip to Hell shortly. Let's ask Mrs Hoover if you can stay with her for a few nights" I speak to my large Doberman like he can reply.

After slipping in a pair of jeans and some shoes I put Butch on his lead and lock the door. Mrs hoover owns the bar below my apartment and the shop next door, she always lets Butch out for the toilet when I'm at work I'm sure she loves him as much as I do.

I find Mrs hoover and her son collecting glasses, she runs over and fusses Butch.

"Hey big guy, have you been good" she rubs her hands over his back before bending down to kiss his head. They are so good to him, it's like he's part of the family.

"Was he good last night"

"He always is, I've never felt safer walking the street as I do when this big guys with me"

I smile, Butch throws himself on his back so she can have access to his belly. He is such an attention seeker.

"I have a favour to ask, I have to go to my brothers wedding reception in Connecticut and I can't take Butch"

"He can stay with us for a few days, we love him." Mrs hoover says, she's almost jumping with joy.

After making arrangements, Butch and I leave and head to the park for our daily run. We've done this every day since I moved to New York, it's part of the reason I stay so slim. I put in my earbuds and run alongside my dog, I block out the looks I get from the men as I pass. I've always been curvy so I get male attention wherever I go, I have learnt to ignore it. I come to a holt when I see Hillary from work doing yoga on the grass.

Hillary is so slender and tall, I wish I was as athletic as she is. The position she's doing is the downward facing dog so I decide to torment her.

I put on my manliest voice " you look like your no stranger to having your ass in the air"

"Cheeky bastard, how dare you" she gets out of position and turns to face me so quick I'm surprised she doesn't have whiplash.

"Savannah you bitch, I was ready to rip your balls off" she wipes her forehead and hugs me.

"If you did yoga at work you would get double the tips" I joke, well half joke.

We sit on her yoga mat and I play fetch with Butch as we speak.

"I have to call Derek and tell him I'm not working this weekend"

"Good luck, rather you than me. Why can't you work"

No one at the club knows much about my personal life and there's a reason for it. I've always been careful of what I've shared. "My brothers wedding reception is this weekend, it's all very last minute"

"He's knocked her up"

I hadn't thought of that, that would explain why the wedding was so quick and secretive. " maybe, I think they just didn't want my mother involved"

"Mother, that's formal" Hillary teases.

I shrug, "we don't get along, she doesn't approve of me"

"What in particular does she not approve of, you working at the club"

If only it were that easy "just me in general, I'm the youngest of 3. I've never been able to reach my mums expectations, I've never been what she wanted me to be"

It's not an exaggeration and it's not me feeling sorry for myself. My mother has always made it quite clear that she disapproves of me. I can't imagine what she would think if she knew what I did for a living. I told her I was a barmaid and that reaction was bad enough. My brother is a lawyer and my sister is a stay at home mom but her husband is a big shot architect. Mother had 2 perfect children then I came along and ruined it.

"That's sucks, so this weekend won't be fun then. Shame cos weddings are a great chance to get drunk and meet men"

"Not in my family, mother uses my being home as a chance to complain about my life choices and trying go set me up with suitable bachelors. Mother likes to remind me that I'm not getting younger and I need to settle down before my eggs expire"

I smirk at Hillary's reaction, she looks confused. "Your only 21, your mom knows that right"

I nod "Yes she likes to remind me that she was married with 1 child and more importantly a member of the DOR at my age"

"How are you gonna cope, it's bullshit"

I shrug "Dicks and stones"