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"It's hard to say goodbye, my love." ~Dreamgirls Soundtrack, Hard To Say Goodbye
NORMANI
Today is the day we're celebrating all 3 of the kids birthday. They wanted to go kart, so that's where we're gonna have the party.
Aaliyah comes up to me with Justine, "Mani come race us!"
I raise my brow, "Y'all wanna catch this fade?"
Aaliyah shakes her head, "Nah, nah. I'm fading."
Justine jumps in, "Mmh, it's me."
I make my way to the karts, "We'll see bout all that."
Soon as the worker starts the lap I skirt off on all the neegas. I may be pregnant but I'm whipping these corners and speed, they not touching me. We start the second lap and I was still dusting them, up until Lauren's loud ass had to yell my name and distract me.
"Mani!"
"What?" I yell back while glancing at her.
"Hi!" She grins.
"You jackass! You slowed me down!" I yell.
Yeah it's a kids party...freedom of expression.
"Mommy stop saying bad words!" Elijah laughs.
"What? Sorry, I don't speak toddler or jackass!"
The second lap ends and Aaliyah wound up winning.
"I gave all the fades!"
I nod, "Maybe you did."
Lauren steps in front of me and of course she goes in for a hug, I stand still and just let her get it out. When she's done she moves her hands under my shirt and I slap her hands away because 1, they're cold and 2, I don't know what she's doing.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
"Touching my baby," She says while moving her hands back under my shirt.
She places her hands on my stomach and rubs small circles on it, I'm not gonna lie that feels good.
"How's the baby?"
"The baby's good. Don't worry I'll tell you when the next appointment is," I say.
She nods and continues rubbing my stomach soft and slowly. I look at her hair and analyze the color, I'm surprised she kept the dye in this long.
"Do your parents know you're pregnant?" She asks.
"Yeah," I reply.
We look over to my parents and catch my dad mean mugging her. I lightly laugh and poke at her arm.
"He's mad at you."
"My parents are mad at me," She shrugs.
She leans in and kisses my cheek twice, my jaw drops and she pulls back with a tiny grin.
"Uh uh, no. Lauren, no," I say.
"What?" She laughs.
"No," I say again.
"Okay, okay," She says as she throws her hands up.
A couple hours pass and we sing 'Happy Birthday' and cut the cake and all that. I take pictures of them with their friends as they open their gifts and I get all warm in my heart. They growing up, my little 6 and 12 year olds.
Being that everyone's gonna be leaving soon, I pull Lauren outside so we can talk. I don't want her getting too comfortable and too touchy.
She leans on the building, "What's up?"
I take a deep breath and shrug, "You know, I told you I needed some more time to process it all."
She nods, "Yeah?"
I take a few more seconds to collect my thoughts, not really knowing what to say.
"We both know we have to go our separate ways, it's best we do."
We stand in silence, just staring at each other, not knowing what to say next. I can't believe I actually said that, this is actually it between us. Before I can think of anything to say next, she runs her hand through her hair and brings her hands to her face and lets out a sigh. I can already see her cheeks getting red and I pay attention to something else, already knowing she's gonna cry.
"We've been together for so long, I never thought it would end like this. Let alone, at all," I say.
I start to tear up a little and dab at my eyes.
"But we don't have to Normani. You can forgive me and we can get through this. I'm sorry, please?" She begs.
More tears cloud my vision and I look down to avoid seeing her cry, "I already forgave you Lauren, which is why we have to let go."
I hold her hands and rub them softly, "Even though we didn't want this to happen, we shouldn't be sad about it. Our life was great together and we should just remember all our great times with each other."
"I still love you Mani," She says.
"And I still love you, you know I always will. We've been together for almost 7 years. You know I'll still care about you as much as I already do. No matter what happens or how much time passes, you'll always be the center of my heart," I look up at her again and feel my heart break more at the sight of all her tears.
"It's hard seeing you cry," I mumble.
"Mani, please."
I palm her cheek and rub my thumb against it, "We have to try and grow without each other, we became toxic Lo. No matter how hard it is, we have to say goodbye to us."
She tightens her grip in my hands and blinks rapidly while staring into my eyes. Her breathing becomes shaky and more tears fall down her face. I pull her into me and wrap her arms around my waist, mine over her shoulders. I lean my head next to hers and rub the top of her back slowly.
I try to speak without my voice cracking and stare at the ground, "We didn't make forever baby, but I will always love you."
