Bouquet of Knives Book One

Chapter Ten

Draco's POV

I tried to stop Harry from going but he wouldn't listen to me. He shoved me away and insisted he leave, that it was needed for him to fight this witch. This is your fault, my brain yelled at me. Maybe it was. Maybe I could've stopped this all from happening had I not used him. Maybe Dumbledore would know what to do. Or should I ask Snape? I didn't know what to do... But I knew I had to do something.

I wasn't sure if Harry had left already or not but I waited outside his dormitory for him. Hoping I could get him to stay. If anything, me being here would make matters worse. But it doesn't hurt to try. Right? That's what I've always heard anyways. Maybe it doesn't apply to this because this is beyond what muggle phrases could save. But I needed him to realize how dangerous this was, that he might actually not make it back. I know I screwed up but if he died... I wouldn't be OK.

"Why are you here, Malfoy?" I hear Harry's annoyed voice and bring myself back to reality, looking down at the man before me. He had a small bag and that was it. As if that'd be enough. I wonder if he has food as well in that bag?

"So, you're going then?" I gesture to his bag. He looks down at it and when he looks back up, there was a hint of sympathy before it's immediately replaced with hatred.

"Yep," he states with a flat voice. I looked at him, unable to shake the image of him dying in combat. My mind darting to all the things that could go wrong during his quest.

"Do, um, do you have enough food?" I ask as I watch him carefully. He sighs, adjusting his bag and looking up at me.

"Look, Malfoy, whatever you want, just tell me. Enough with the bloody games," he looks at me with anger and I feel my heart sink. "I don't know why you insist on torturing me so much but I'd appreciate it if just this once you could let me do this," he smiles softly and it completely shattered me. If I didn't let him go now, I was going to break down. I couldn't let him see that. I step aside and let him go but remain facing the dormitory. I kept my head low, trying to hold back the burning of my tears.

"I'm sorry," I whisper before finally turning to go to my own dormitory. Blaine was watching me sit on my bed, in my own self-loathing. He said something about Harry that made me snap. "You know what? I loved him! OK? I adored that man more than anything else, more than my own pride and now... Now he's gone, out on a quest for his own death. Because I let you get to my head," I look at Blaine with fire eyes.

"How is it my fault, exactly?" He raises an eyebrow. I laid on my bed, throwing an arm over my eyes.

"You're the one who's bloody idea it was to use him," I shoot a glare through the corner of my eyes. I ignore him the rest of the night, just trying to get some sleep. I couldn't sleep. Not one blink. All my mind could think of was Harry. Ranging from his body to his most recent gaze towards me. It was pure hate. And it shattered my heart because I loved him. It didn't feel like there was anything in my chest, like it was completely hollow. Like I was so hurt by what I've caused that I've become numb. I even tried to go back to my old ways, humiliating him but that didn't turn out at all.

I quietly get up, sneaking out to the library. I see Hermione there, wanting to talk to her but knowing better. I sneak my way to the back, snagging a book off the shelf and finding a semi-cozy spot in a corner. I just wanted to be by myself, try to distract my brain from thinking about Harry. But that's all I could think about. What if he gets hurt and can't make it back and ends up getting killed? What if he gets lost and can't find his way back? What if this, what if that. The whole thing was ruining me to think about.

Maybe I could go out and try to find him. Bring him back before it's too late. Before he ends up killing himself or getting seriously hurt. It's not a safe place out there, especially in that forest. I was certain that's where that witch lived. It wouldn't surprise me. But if Harry is trying to find her in that forest, there's a higher chance she'll find him. If she lived there, she probably knew the whole forest like the back of her hand. She might even be able to walk its dangerous paths blindfolded. I needed to do something. I couldn't just let Harry walk into his own death. I wouldn't.

If I talk to Hermione, she might have some ideas. But then again, she'd have no reason to share those ideas with the likes of me. Not after what I did. She'd punch me and then walk away proud of herself. She'd call me every insult in the book, angry eyes staring at me until I shrivel up into myself. Tuck my head into my body and call it Uncle, cower away until the threat leaves. She wouldn't let me get a single word out before she would start beating me, whether that be verbally or physically.

I could try Snape but I doubt he would help me. There was a reason he sent Harry on that mission. Maybe it was so he could test his strengths. Maybe it was so he could grow. Who knows the reason behind Snape's doings, behind his actions. There were plenty of times he's contradicted himself with something he's done. With him, you never knew. So maybe he was actually a better possibility than going to Hermione. After all, Snape would either get frustrated with me and make me leave or get frustrated and send me after Harry. It's a high possibility I'm willing to take.

I stand up, putting the book back on the shelf I got it from. I walk towards the door but Hermione's voice stops me. I'm done for, I think in my head as I turn around to face her. She looked incredibly pissed but there was something behind her eyes that scared me more. It was fear. I have the feeling that it's not towards me. She stands in front of me, brows pushed together as she looked in spite upon me. It chilled my blood to see that look in her eyes.

"Why couldn't you just be a good person for once?" She bites. "Harry... Harry was in love with you. When you did that to him, he was absolutely heartbroken but he still cared about you," she was getting closer to home with her words, each one like a dagger. "He said... He said that if he didn't make it, he'd be fine with that because he wouldn't have to see you again." That hit home. I felt my heart constrict until it withered, my eyes welling up.

"I have to go after him, Granger," I state as I wipe the tear from my eye. She looked up at me in shock, unsure what she should feel. "I can't let him die. Not until I apologize for everything. Not until I at least try," it was getting harder and harder to remain calm.

"I don't know what you want me to say, Malfoy," she crosses her arms.

"Just tell me if you know where he could've went first," I look at her with the rest of my hope, with all of it. I needed to find Harry. I couldn't let him die, not when he deserves better. Hermione bites her lip as she looks at me, sighing and looking away.

"He started in the forest," she looks back at me with her own sad eyes. "Please... Find him," I nod and run out of the library. I had a destination. I had no plan but I would figure one out along the way. I didn't know how I was going to do this but I was going to give it my all. I had to. For Harry's sake.