Love and Loss (one direction) book 2

It was just a kiss...

Lily POV:

“Hey everyone!” I exclaimed as I walked into the separate room at the restaurant. It was Cassie and Louis’s anniversary and everyone was going out to dinner. Louis, Cassie, Liam, Harry, Niall, Bek, Adian, Me and Zayn. The whole gang.

Zayn had been acting very weird these last couple days but I didn’t care. I was in love.  I honestly never thought I could love someone as much as I love him. He was my everything.

Zayn and I had visited my parents yesterday and stayed the night there. We hugged everyone hello and sat down.  Zayn sat next to Harry and me on the outside chair next to Zayn. I smiled up at him and he peered down at me. I whispered in his ear, “Are you mad at me?”

“Never. Why would I be?” He asked looking worried. I just shook my head and smiled. He placed his hand on my knee and I felt happy. We were having a great time laughing and enjoying everyones company (its not like we don’t live together) before dinner.

My phone started blowing up with twitter messages, normally I would ignore them but I was getting so many I decided to check one…

@1Dlovergirl : Look at that cheating bastard Zayn… Poor Lily…

I didn’t understand what she meant so I opened up the picture she had linked to it.

“It was a picture of Zayn kissing some blonde girl. I knew it was recent because he had on the jacket I bought him. I just stared at the picture in shock. Zayn looked at me eyes wide, “Lily I can explain.”

“Just stop, just no.” I felt a tear prick at my eye as I jumped out of my seat, threw my phone at him and ran out. I left behind all of my things. I knew Zayn was running after me but I didn’t care I wanted nothing to do with him.

“Lily please stop running and just look at me.”

I turned around so hard that he stopped dead in his tracks huffing. I felt the anger boil inside of me. “NO YOU CHEATING ASSHOLE! THERE IS NO WAY IN HELL THAT PICTURE IS FAKE OR SHE IS JUST A FRIEND! YOU KISSED HER AND THAT’S ALL THAT MATTERS!! ” I yelled at him, people were watching but I didn’t care.

“Please she means nothing. Lily you are my world, my life, please let me explain.”

“What are you going to say Zayn, she’s just a friend? She kissed you? What Zayn come on say it! Either way its going to break my heart so its not like it matters!” I stared at him in disbelief. I wanted more than anything to wake up and call this a dream.

“Lily I kissed her! I did I kissed her! She was some girl I met when I was drunk one night! And you want to know something. I felt nothing for her! Nothing! Its nothing compared to when I get to kiss you. I love you Lily.”  His eyes were fool of plead.

“No Zayn, if you loved me you wouldn’t have kissed her. I can’t do this anymore Zayn. I’m sorry. I’m done. We can’t keep hurting eachother like this. I will see if Bek will switch you rooms for the last couple weeks. I am not going to take the job with you guys. I am going to stay here, but Bek and Adian can still go with you.” I walked past him, I felt tears dripping down my face, he just stood there, still, behind me. I walked into the restaurant and wiped my face. I got to the room and everyone just stared at me. “Well everyone I think it’s time for me to go home, but before I do I have something to say. I unfortunately will not be taking the job with you. I will remain a teacher at the academy. I love you all very much but I had to make this choice a personal matter.”  I turned around and Zayn was standing in the doorway crying. I wanted to hug him so bad but all I could think about was the picture. I was hurt but I still loved Zayn. My thought got interrupted by Liam standing up and yelling, “Damn Zayn! Do you just mess everything good in your life up?” Liam was pissed.

“Liam calm down, no need to yell at him.” I hushed Liam

“You’re defending him? Why he hurt you.” Liam seemed shocked

“Because no matter what he did,” I turned so I was looking at both Zayn and Liam, “He loves me and I love him. Sometimes when you love someone you have to let them go for the better of both of you.”

Liam sat back down and Zayn cried harder. I made my rounds and hugged everyone and walked out. I couldn’t stay there any longer. I walked home my head full of thoughts.

When I opened my bedroom door, I quickly changed into sweats and laid on my bed. I turned my ipod on to hear his beautiful voice streaming through the air waves. I broke down even more. I picked up my ipod dock and threw it across the room. At that exact moment the door opened, Bek and Adian ran inside. Bek ran straight to me and Adian ran and picked up the broken ipod and stopped the music, he ran and sat next to me. They held me while I cried… My heart was shattered.

After a couple hours of crying, Bek changed rooms with Zayn. I wanted Zayn to be with me so badly right now. It was just a kiss, you can forgive him. No you can’t! you cant!!!

“Hey Bek can I talk to Lily really quick?” Niall asked peeking his head around the corner of my door. I nodded my head and she got up and left. Niall plopped down next to me.

“You know Lily,Zayn is the biggest asshole for what he did to you.” Niall began.

“Tell me something I don’t already know…” I snapped.

“But listen that asshole, is really sorry,” He hushed me, “shhhh let me finish, he really is. You want to know how I know, because when you left Zayn took a run for it. He was crying and yelling how much he hated himself and how he broke the love of his lifes heart and all that. Louis and Liam chased him down and got him . They carried him here and he just fell on the bed, crying about how much he hated himself and how he wanted you back. I know he hurt you and I know you hate him as of the moment but can you go share two words with the lad. He is heartbroken just as much as you. I am not saying for you two to get back together, I am just saying to talk. Can you do that for me?”

“Niall if you want me too.” I stood up and walked to the door, I walked out and everyone gasped when they saw me walk into Bek and Adians room which was were Zayn was staying. “Louis get out.” I pointed at the door. If I was going to talk to him I had to do it alone. I sat on the bed and Zayn looked up at me with tear filled eyes.

“Lily I am so sorry.” He put his head down and a tear fell to the ground.

“Why? Why did you do it?” I sat down next to him.

“I don’t know. Something happened in that moment where she grabbed my face and just kissed me. But I didn’t pull away like I should of. Lily I know I broke you and I just need you to know I am truly sorry.”

“Zayn I love you…”

 Before I knew what I was doing, I had my lips pressed to his. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he had his around my waist holding me tight. I felt a tear trickle down his cheek. I pulled away, “Why are you crying?”

“Because the love of my life is kissing me and said she loves me, even after I hurt her.”

“Zayn I know it is a bad idea to take you back, but the entire time I was hurting, you were the one I wanted to comfort me… Zayn I will take you back on one condition. You can never kiss anyone besides me.” I smiled a small smile but my eyes were dead locked on his.

“Never ever anyone again.” He picked me up, hugging me tighter than he ever had before.

“You know I still want my job right?” I laughed at him. “I wouldn’t think of anyone else doing it!”

We ran out and told everyone, and everyone bust out in cheers. I was happy this was my family.

I know I shouldn’t be taking him back but everyone makes mistakes. Zayn saved me from Craig, heartbreak…myself. Zayn saved me from me…. I loved him.