Transformers: Where You Belong

Chapter 6

It was later that day, when the sun had set on the nation's capital that Ratchet took Ben up to the roof. It was quite the way to end a day like this, Ben noted, hanging out on the roof of the NEST Base, watching the stars. Ratchet was leaning against a side of the roof, with Ben gently reseted upon his knee. Ratchet never allowed anyone this close, it was just a given fact, but he let Ben up there. Peering up at the stars, and tracing a finger along them, he finally pointed. "There." Ben looked up slowly at the unusually bright star "That is what is... Left of Cybertron following Chicago." Ben grinned a bit, his eyes widened in amazement "One of the few planets here on Earth you can see any given day." He added.

"We can see others?" Ben asked, looking up at Ratchet.

Ratchet chuckled, rubbing the thick of the child's back. "Oh yes, a great many more then you can even imagine, my young friend." He smiled, looking up at the stars "Quintesson, is right over there somewhere." He pointed to one area "Junk Planet, is just a little to the right of that." He added.

"Junk Planet? You're totally making that up Ratchet!" Ben laughed.

"I assure you, kiddo, I am not."

Ben found himself smiling even wider, and his eyes seemed to widen, even more amazed now. Though the names of the planets sounded strange, he believed what he said. After all, he had traveled countless light-years to Earth, whereas Ben had only ever lived in Mission City and in Washington DC. He hadn't been out of the United States, let alone to outer space. "How many planets have you been to?" Ben asked, curious.

"Hundreds, probably thousands. Though nothing has compared to my home of Cybertron. Or the beauty of your Earth." Ratchet replied, thoughtfully, he stroked his chinplate lightly "Though the Jungle Planet comes close to Earth in terms of its beauty." He admitted, shaking his head a bit, he looked down at Ben "I could tell you stories of them, I tell ye. If that kind of thing interests you." He added.

"How about when I'm a little less wiped." Ben replied.

Ratchet chuckled, he nodded slowly, the boy was exhausted and he knew it. It had been a long, yet fun day. And saying it was fun, well, that was new for Ratchet, who rarely had 'fun'. Yet it was true, he had had fun that day, watching Ben, hanging out the way they had. He had expected it to simply be a 'free day' for Ben, but ended up enjoying it just as much, if not more. And this, was a new, and very odd feeling for Ratchet. The mech normally couldn't handle kids outside of their check-ups or tune-ups.

But Ben, there was something about the boy, something different. His presence wasn't frustrating, he didn't run wild, he didn't cause trouble. But at the same time, there was a sadness, a loneliness that Ratchet recognized. And then there was his intensity, the slightest touch had made him cringe at the start of the day. But ever since the hug, Ratchet had noticed a change, ever since he'd returned it like he had. What difference had it made? He shifted slightly, and looked up at the starts, his mind swirling with thoughts.

He wasn't so sure he could give Ben back to that orphanage now. No, now it was going to be much harder, and he knew it. But he wasn't the parenting type, and even moreso, he didn't love the boy. Did he enjoy his presence? Yes. But what Ben needed, he realized, was love. He wanted to help him, but he couldn't in that way. Though the way their bond was growing, over barely a week, he no doubt wondered how much longer it would be before his attachment may become just that. "Stop it Ratchet." He muttered too quietly for the boy to hear "You can't get attached." He added.

The shifting and light breathing pulled him from his thoughts slowly. He knew before he looked down that Ben had fallen asleep against him. But of course, he had to look, he had to see the sleeping form. Ben was so peaceful, quiet, his stomach moving up and down slowly as he snuggled into Ratchet's armored plating. Ratchet first hesitated, but slowly, surely, reached down, and stroked his spine, belittling every ounce of his strength. The boy's lips curved into a smile as he slept on, snuggling deeper into his armor, clearly enjoying it, happy, safe.

Ratchet lifted the boy up, gently, into his palms, carrying him back into the the Autobot-sized exit from the room. Moving down the hallways, he entered the guest room they'd afforded Ben, the boy never stirred, he never awakened. Ratchet set him into bed, and slowly, surely, pulled the blankets over him. He lingered there for a moment, again, his thoughts ran wild. A thought yet again crossed the mech, a realization that would not stop eating at him the entirety of the past two days. After really sitting down and talking to the boy, after getting to know the boy behind the 'experiment'...

He wasn't so sure he could bring himself to put him back in that dump they called an 'orphanage'. Turning around, Ratchet hesitated with his words, but finally, slowly, he turned his head. "Sweet dreams, little one." He whispered.

As Ratchet left, confused, uncertain of what was happening to him. Ben, having heard his word, smiled wider. He shifted under the covers, and as he let himself drift off into a deep sleep, for the first time, he was happy. And for the first time in his life, even after finding Vos, he didn't feel alone.

...

Ratchet wanted to know what illness had overcome him. Surely, he wasn't coming to love the human as a Father would a son. That, that was ridiculous, Ratchet had never wanted to be a Father, he didn't have the patience. That could not have been the reason he had enjoyed his time with Ben, and the boy's company. Or why he'd just tucked him into bed and wished him 'sweet dreams'. He wasn't a Father, and he had no desire to become one, he never had. He kept repeating that over in his head, as best he could at least. If Ironhide were there, he was sure that he'd try and convince him he was in denial, something he knew he wasn't.

I am not in denial. I am not in denial. I am not in denial. Ratchet repeated over in his head.

Of course, even though a bond could be slow to grow, he could have connected with Ben that easily. Cybertronians were very different from humans, feeling love could be instantaneous if it was the right person. But that had never happened for Ratchet, not for any orphaned younglings in the past, not for any femme, he'd never experienced 'love' in any form. He wasn't even sure that could happen with a human, with other Cybertronians? Of course. But Ben was a human boy, he wasn't Cybertronian, not in the least.

And even if, by some chance it was happening, why now? Why not that day in Mission City? The medic shook his head and he sighed deeply and evenly, trying to tell himself he was losing it. But the more he told himself he was wrong, the more he started to think that maybe, just maybe this was fate. As Optimus had once told Sam, fate rarely called upon people at moments of their choosing. Ratchet shook his head quietly, he couldn't think that way, Ben was a kid, a kid who had needs, who still needed someone to raise him. He needed patience, he needed love, he needed nurturing.

Ratchet was a good friend to him, and he always would be. But, the mech convinced himself, he couldn't be a Father to Ben. He'd only screw it up, he'd only do something wrong. And besides, he didn't even know it was the makings of an artificial bond yet. He'd only heard of those, and they were rare as could be. When you made enough of a connection with someone that your spark quite literally accepted the person as your own child. Not just figuratively, but in all senses, where you could feel them, sense them. Much like the creation bond shared between sparklings and their creators.

Ratchet couldn't do that yet, and as such, he felt his body relax. He was worrying for absolutely nothing, he realized, at least, for now. Resting against his own recharge berth, the medic took a deep, inward breath. Him, a Father, he almost scoffed at the idea. He didn't have patience for most of his patients at times. He couldn't even imagine having the patience for children. Yet, he mused, he could deal with it if Ben really did connect with him in that way. It would be a challenge, certainly but at the same time, he liked the boy, a lot. He just didn't know if he could handle it, and it made him nervous for Ben's sake more than his own.

"Primus, you have an odd sense of humor playing with an old mech like this." Ratchet grumbled quietly.

Somewhere in the Well of Allsparks, he knew Ironhide and Wheeljack were probably getting a kick out of this whole thing. They and the late Jazz were probably now placing bets on how much longer it would be until he cracked. A part of him couldn't wait to join them someday so he could find out who won. And smack whoever decided to bet on him cracking early upside the head. Taking a deep breath, he let himself fall into recharge, feeling exhausted himself, these were thoughts for another day, later on.

But no matter how much later he accepted whatever this was. He told himself for the umpteenth time, he was not in denial.