small world

chapter 10

I kept myself completely disconnected from all the boys. Liam would text me every once in a while when he was watching a Disney movie and picked up on the underlying jokes that kids never noticed, and I'd laugh when I read them, but never answered.

Zayn would send me a “we miss you x" every once in a while, and though I missed him too, I'd ignore them.

Niall and I had texted for the first month when I was still broken, and he had been the best virtual shoulder to cry on. I figured talking to Louis about this would only make the tension between the two of them even worse. Niall had assured me everything was okay now between the boys, and when it came to Harry and I, it would be okay, and for a while I'd believed him. But when I started to pick myself up I texted him less often, and even though he understood why I had been so distant, he still sent me a "love you Char! :)" and it took everything I had not to tell my Nialler I'd loved him too.

Louis was the hardest to stop speaking to, and he was the first I started talking to when I felt whole again. He'd badger me with "YOU CAN'T JUST CUT ME OUT FOREVER CHARLES, YOU'D MISS YOUR BOOBEAR!" and after a while I caved in. He'd called me nearly in tears when I'd finally texted him back a week ago. A simple "love you Xx" after being untouched for weeks, and that was the end of my boy(band)cott.

With that, the boys all bombarded me and I eventually started speaking to them again, mostly Lou and Niall. I decided that just because things had never happened with Harry and I didn’t mean I couldn’t be friends with the rest of the boys. I had been happy to be talking to them again, and over all I was in a better place.

And here I was sitting in Harry's house almost three months after he had left me. I had done a lot of thinking, spent a lot of time alone, talking to myself like I was right now, and finally had felt okay again. I decided to be completely rational and discarded him from my mind completely, which hadn't been hard seeing how he'd never called or texted or anything. I wondered if he knew the other boys all did, and now I was answering them. Looking back at myself during that first month, I remember wanting to Google his name and see what he was doing but I kept myself away from the internet knowing I’d see them everywhere and just miss them.

I was flopped up in bed staring at the ceiling evaluating the last few months realizing it would just be two weeks until I'd see them again. Niall had invited me a couple days ago to be his ‘plus one’ at the Ed Sheeran concert they were opening, and I couldn't have been more excited that I'd be seeing him live. I was so happy Niall had asked me; he had been such an understanding friend all this time, plus we would jam to You Need Me, I Don’t Need You and he’d strum along to other songs on Skype. But I couldn't help feel a little bit disappointed that Harry hadn't been the one to think to ask me. Most of the many songs that paved the way of our (lack of a) relationship had been Ed's, and I remembered his promise as the lyrics told us a story that felt more like it had been written out of my diary – our feelings coming alive lyrically. I felt sadness wash over me thinking about the way his eyes would meet mine when the lyrics made him think of me, and how I followed suit. But I quickly shook it off as familiar buzz broke me from my thoughts.

I glanced at the screen expecting it to be Nialler or Louis but when I read the name I was sure my heart stopped beating.

NEW MESSAGE: Harry Styles


I read his name a hundred times before opening it. It was amazing how I had spent all this time forgetting about him, not even logging onto twitter knowing his name would trend the UK with the mass of x-factor fangirls that fantasized over him. I finally clicked on it after hesitating for so long. There was no hello, how have you been, just a small thought.

'been in the studio almost everyday now, sure enough i find myself thinking of you with every song.'

And that was it. I couldn't answer. Every part of me wanted to, I wanted to know what he was up to how he was doing what kind of music they were making and all the questions I had been dying to ask Louis and Niall… but I held back. I decided to put my earbuds in and forget about him all together. Demi Lovato's powerful voice blasted all the feels into my ears.

 The slightest words you said

Have all gone to my head

I hear angels sing in your voice

When you pull me close

Feelings I’ve never known

They mean everything

And leave me no choice

 Light on my heart, light on my feet

Light in your eyes I can’t even speak

Do you even know how you make me weak?

 I’m a lightweight

Better be careful what you say

With every word I’m blown away

You’re in control of my heart

I’m a lightweight

Easy to fall, easy to break

With every move my whole world shakes

Keep me from falling apart

It was like fate was the DJ, playing songs that cracked the walls I'd spent so long building up. I spent so long tring to forget but here I was again with Harry on my mind. Tempted to just know what he was up to, see his face, read his thoughts on twitter, I logged on.

I hadn't even been on Twitter since my mom died. I had deleted the app off my phone and hadn't been on the computer in a while. It took me a minute to think of my password - needless to say it had been a long time. I decided I should tweet something instead of just trolling around until I found Haz’s profile.

I decided to tweet some fitting Gaga lyrics:

"@xoCharlieParker: been along time since I came around, been along time but I'm back in town :) #helloagaintwitter!"

Suddenly my mentions were filled. Confused, I clicked on my tweet.

50+ RETWEETS | 50+ FAVORITES.

What.

I thought I was pretty solid back in the day, Louis would tweet me every-so-often during the x-factor so I had a thousand followers that were mostly made up of his hardcore fans that followed every person the boys were remotely connected to.. like their stylist, their cousins, their drummers brother.. I didn’t know how it was possible I had such a huge response from one tweet! I decided to check through my profile. The number of followers I had now: 24,793 FOLLOWERS, and the number kept growing.

Holy SHIT.

I scrolled through twitter like a mad man and quickly remembered how to work it. This had to be the result of One Direction. I made a list of all the boys and then searched their tweets for @xoCharlieParker. All of the boys had been following me now, and had mentioned me in replies, within seconds of my first tweet in months.

"@Louis_Tomlinson: @xoCharlieParker SHE LIVES!! miss you best friend, call me? see you soon!! Xx"

"@NiallOfficial: CHAR! @xoCharlieParker whats the craic love?! miss your face"

"@Real_Liam_Payne: @xoCharlieParker nt long now til we meet agin :)"

"@zaynmalik: @xoCharlieParker hey babe! ;) long time no talk"

I smiled at all of them until I almost fell off my chair when I saw my newest mention.

In reply to "@xoCharlieParker: been along time since I came around, been along time but I'm back in town :) #helloagaintwitter!"

"@Harry_Styles: @xoCharlieParker this time i'm not leaving without you."

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