Rescue My Heart

Chapter 19

"You don't think it's nice?"

Beautiful, huh? Isn't that what we all say about homes from the outside? Never take a look inside, who knows what you'll find?

"Beautiful isn't the word I would use." Why was I talking about this? I just couldn't keep my mouth shut. No one knew the truth about my life. Not even Adam. The consequences of the truth terrified me the most. My truth would be known all around town; I'd be pitied and taken from everything I knew – not that it mattered anymore.

Clover's small hand grazed my cheek. Her touch made it worse, though. It made me ache, so I clasped her hand.

"It's the memories that make it ugly." Her breathing hitched. It was now or never. "I want to tell you, but I don't need you to pity me. You won't cry and you'll keep quiet about this. Can you promise me that?"

Clover deserved my story. She'd given me huge chunks of hers, so she deserved mine too. My sweet, brave girl that had too many demons.

I let her go to give her some space, to give myself some space. "My father... was a horrible man. He only cared about himself – no one else. A selfish bastard. Thanks to him I hate my family." I sucked in a breath. "And my mom, she never did anything when he hurt us. She always made excuses for him, but he never apologized. I think she still saw him as this great man, refusing to see anything else. But a mom is supposed to care for her kids, not just side with her bastard of a husband. Especially when he..."

The tear in her eye had my confession drying away.

"Don't cry." Automatically, my fingers thread through her hair, imagining myself gripping it tightly. God, I sounded like an asshole. She deserved soft, not what I had in mind. "I've never told anyone this, but I need to tell someone, especially considering what happened after they did."

"What happened after?"

"The night Jackson and I got home and found them, a normal kid would've been devastated, but not me." Uncomfortable, I turned my attention to the ceiling. "I felt relieved, relieved because it was over. I wouldn't have to deal with the rage and disappointment. I wouldn't be scared going home every night."

Finally admitting this proved to be difficult, but worth all the weight, especially since I was admitting this to her.

Sitting up on the couch, I said, "I promised myself when I was little that I would never turn out to be like him."

Clover sat up too. "You're nothing like him. I know you will never hurt me."

Not good enough.

Out of instinct, I grasped her waist, putting her on my lap. "I need you to promise me you will come to me if Jackson ever comes near you. I don't care if he says one word. You will tell me. Promise?" When she didn't say anything, I repeated, "Clover, promise me."

She tried to wiggle out of my grip. "Logan..."

"What is it? Why won't you promise me?"

A defeated, pale expression passed her face.

"I–I have to tell you something, but I need to know you won't do anything stupid. You won't be mad." At my frown, she rambled on, "Do you remember how a month ago I started ignoring you and how I screamed at you on the phone?"

I'd been pondering over that incident for over a goddamn month. Now I was grateful that she was finally coming out of the dark, but also scared because the truth sounded terrifying. Something changed in her after that night, something to make her lash out.

"Jackson paid me a visit that day."

My hands dropped to the side. A knife twisted in my back.

"He wanted me to stay away from you. He was mad because I told you what happened between me and him."