(Warning might have some triggering features please note this and realize that this chapter is meant to be heartbreaking as it is a accurate representation (only morphed for the understanding in the book) of what I have been dealing with for the past few months but through support of a few friends and you guys I have regained a small fragment of my hope of not giving up thank you)
Y/n pov
I woke up dreading the outcome of the day already. I haven't told anyone yet not even my closest friends and even my adoptive parents of Got7. My heart has been shattered into a million pieces and a fake heart has been put in its v place. My smiles and happiness have all been lies as each and every day I fake what I feel so others will not worry neither know my pain. Messages have been spammed towards me. 'How can you be so stupid? Why are you still alive? No one cares! No one loves you! Just die already! I hate you and so does everyone else they just won't show it! They all feel pity on you! You don't deserve what you have! You ruin everyone's happiness! No one will ever give an F#$&ing Damn About you, You piece of $#!T....!' Each one tore me apart. My songs and raps now had hidden meanings in them, one sad song we decided to make with the concept of a bad break up (ironic aye?) I had to say out loud in the middle of the song "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but your words rip my skin apart" little did anyone know I had written that part into the song on purpose.
No one understands my struggle of forcing myself to get up every morning scared that I might see him that day, scared people will realize what a failure I am, scared that everyone will hate me to death. Nightmares are the usual now as fear embraces my soul like a best friend. but I keep that hidden from all who seek to find it. The boys might see happiness but I see fear, and heartache everywhere I go struggling everyday to hide what I feel is my worst flaw. My sides and hips were new fresh canvases ready to be covered in red. Multiple new and old scars were slowly covering that up. I was not cutting deep enough to leave an everlasting scar like the one written on my right arm, but it was enough to make me feel slightly better.
(Present Day)
I woke up struggling out of bed. Walking over to my mirror I saw my new more skinny yet still fit body I hadn't eaten much recently each day I would only eat one apple. I walked over to my closet grabbing a baggy long t-shirt and some sweats. This always hide my scars well during dance practice I only had to refrain from jumping up and down. I went back to my bed sitting down for a bit to check my social media websites. What popped up startled me as fans were starting to notice my change in body frame and emotion. Even one fan had found quick moments nd slowed them down showing what they thought to be cut scars ' f#$k they were right' I quickly got up and ran out the room hoping that if I was fast enough no one would question me. I ran all the way to JYP building before slowing down and catching my breath. 'Man that was a long run'
I quickly got started first deciding it might be a good idea to wrap my newly fresh bleeding cuts. Taking out my white bandage wrap I wrapped it around my entire waist covering up most of my scars. Then I quickly returned to practicing the difficult choreography for our next album and concerts.
Tae-Tae's pov
I watched as y/n quickly sprinted out her room in her dance practice outfit before quickly sprinting out the door probably to head to the JYP building. I noticed as she ran that she was skinnier than usual, now that I think about it I haven't seen her eat anything but an apple for the past few weeks. I wonder why? I was about to call her when I saw that I had gotten lots of tags with the boys on some social apps. Reading through each post I saw the fans had noticed a change in y/n's physical body weight and they had saw a change in her emotions. But one post shocked me it was a few pictures of a few dance practices were her shirt had gone up slightly to see what looked like scratch marks but the comment said "there are to any to be scratch marks and they don't even have the form scratch marks would look like! I think our little maknae y/n is cutting!" Now that I think about it when ever someone grabs her hips or sides she does flinch slightly or show some signs of pain but it's to little for others to notice. I quickly messaged the other this post and other posts that made sense,I also made sure to add her recent music that was for our break up concept for the last album we did.
