Janay's Full Court Life

Chapter 13

My eyes creak open, as if I am a new child just coming into the world. The burning sensation from the acclimation to the lighting forces my eyes back shut.

Where am I with such bright lights?

With more hesitance do I open them the second time, taking in the light piece by piece. Constant beeping to my left and right ring in my ear, making me more aware of my surroundings along with my sight. There is an IV in my right hand. White sheets with a yellow top-blanket lie on top of me, yeah, I'm definitely not home.

Home.

Home is where it happened. What happened at home is what has earned me a spot in the hospital.

My right hand slides over to my womb. Well, it's barren now. It wasn't a few hours ago. It was once a home to a life waiting to be brought into the world. I was going to be a mom again.

Chris lies with his head in the space beside me on the bed, his wedding band shining next to mine. So many promises made. So many promises broken.

"Chris, wake up," I squeeze his hand rapidly.

His head shoots up from beside me on the bed, slob crusted at the side of his mouth, eyes red and dazed.

He looks over my face and sighs with relief, "Aww, Jaybird, you're awake!"

"You sound happy about that." I huff.

Chris leans forward and his eyes squint together in confusion, "Janay...why wouldn't I be?"

I huff again and roll my eyes away from him.

He opens his mouth repeatedly yet no words come out.

How similar we are: him without words and me with an empty uterus.

A knock sounds at the door, causing us to look over. In walks a short Caucasian woman in light blue scrubs.

"Hi, Mrs. Court. I've been your nurse since you arrived. My name is Hannah."

"Hannah?" I growl.

My neck snaps to Chris who is looking down at our clasped hands. Images of the scene in the kitchen bounce off the walls of my mind, reminding me of the other player in this game of infidelity.

"Hannah," This time it comes out as a whisper.

This has to be some sick joke. Here I am laying in the hospital partially because of that girl and someone with her name is supposed to be taking care of me. Oh, the irony.

"Yes, Hannah," she smiles. She continues to stand there, oblivious to the sparks she's added the already fire blazing in my room.

"Is there anything that I can get for you?" she asks.

I shake my head in silence. There is no way that I can talk to this woman. Her mere name has created a barrier for me.

"Is everything ok? Are you in any pain?"

My eyes stare at her name tag and all I can hear is Chris saying that girl's name in our kitchen...in our car as he...

"Ummm, just some fresh water. Her voice is a little scratchy." Chris replies.

She nods with an "of course" and leaves to get the water.

I slide my hand from within his grasp and rest it on top of my belly. There was a baby inside me. I was once full of life. I was going to produce another life, another life to love. Another to life to create memories with. Another life to make more full than I already am. This would have been the overflow of my cup. Yet here I am...empty...hollow.