Go down in flames

I do not belong

The moment the weary fighters reached the city the gates flew open and eager wives and children flooded through in search of there family. I pushed through the crowd just wanting to get away from all of it. The was to many people crushing me from every direction. My breathing became laboured as I pushed through. I reached the gates and pushed inside where the crowd thinned out. I walked strait into a taller blond woman. I almost fell over onto the stone ground when I felt strong hands catch me. Looking over my shoulder I saw Legolas rebalancing me. I straitened myself and looked back to the blond woman. I recognized her as Eowyn. Her blond hair fell down in waves framing her worried eyes. " Where is Aragorn?" She asked panic creeping into her voice. I squeezed my eyes shut trying not to think about it. I felt Legolas put his hand comfortingly on my back. The moment he put his hand on my back I could not hold it in any more. Emotions raged inside of me like a monster clawing its way to the surface. I ran as hard as I could and I was gone in a flash. I didn't think, all I wanted to do was get away from there. I pushed my way out the gates knocking people over on my way. Strangled cries of family's that had lost someone in the battle echoed around me as I ran. My heart pounded in my chest as if it where going to burst out. I breathed heavy as I reached the forest. I kept running under the canopy of leaves weaving in between tree trunks. Tears streamed down my face mingled with salty sweat and blood. The tears blurred my vision to the point that I had to stop to prevent running into a tree.

I fell to my knees letting it all out. Strangled cries clawed its way to the top of my throat and pushed their way through my mouth. I had been a fool. I had been a fool to agree to go on this trip and to let myself get close to others. I was better of alone and free of all this. I do not belong with people. All people do is hurt each other and kill. Pain twisted at my heart it felt so strong and real. Tears streamed down my cheeks and neck leaving long glistening trails. They would not stop and neither did the pain. I have no idea how long I spent there tears bursting from my eyes but I did not leave till all my tears were dry.

When I got back Legolas was waiting for me near the heavily guarded gait. I looked down refusing to look at him as I tried to brush past him. For once I wished my hair was down so that it would shield me face from his concerned gaze. He stepped into my path. " Are you okay?" He asked softly. " Yes." I stated blankly trying to step around his tall frame and ignore the concern in his voice. He blocked my way again. I let out a frustrated hiss. " Seriously Anastasia are you okay." He said trying to get me to look at him. " What don't you understand! I am fine!" I snapped harshly. He took a step back from me. I could sense him becoming cold towards me. " What is your problem!" He yelled. I was taken aback. I had not expected him to yell. " Every time I try to comfort you or help you, you become angry with me and push me away. I can feel you blocking me out of your mind. Why do you push everyone away, why do you push me away! I feel like we know almost nothing about each other, aren't Dragons and riders suppose to work together not alone!" I could feel his anger and frustration pouring through the bond like a flood. With that I snapped and my anger flooded out with his. " Don't you understand elf!? I have not let myself become close to other beings since the death of my mother. I was alone for thousands of years but then I tried to become normal again and look where it got me! With a shattered heart, friends in peril and guilt, so much guilt. I WAS BETTER OFF ALONE!" I screamed at him, thankful for the empty streets. Without even stopping to look at him I ran, I had no idea where I was heading but I ran through the streets until I hit a dead end. I curled up in the back of the ally, snuggling into the sea of black silk. With that I was asleep, resting after to many days of work and people playing with my emotions.

My eyes fluttered open slowly as if I had been asleep for days. I heard someone calling my name faintly but I did not really want them to find me. I refused to move from my spot. I lay curled up like a cat surrounded by black fabric up against the corners of two walls in the dead end ally. Slowly the voice got louder and as I shrank closer to the wall. I heard the tapping of feet against the ground approaching me. I refused to lift my head or move in any way. " Anastasia?" Aragorn sighed tiredly. " What are you doing?" He asked with an old sounding voice. I grunted. Sighing he slide down the wall beside me. " I know what happened." Is all he said. The shock of what he just said froze me. Anger burned through me as I realized what that meant. I shot up. " HE TOLD YOU!" I yelled furiously. " No, no, no! I just happened to hear you arguing..." He said trying to calm me down. " So you were eavesdropping?" I hissed. He laughed. " Your just looking for something to be angry about now." I glared at him. " So what if I am." He raised his dark eyebrows at me as if to say really? I just glare at him angrily. " What do you know this is a dream and you are dead!" I hissed. He chuckled softly. " I wondered when we would come across that snag." I stared at him. " I'm not dead Anastasia." He laughed. I let out a loud laugh that came out more like a crazed shriek. " Such cruel jokes my mind likes to play on me, raises my hopes only to crush me when I wake up. Nice try." Is said laughing like a mad woman. " You can't get me this time!" I yelled my voice echoed of the walls. " Who are you yelling at?" Aragorn spoke in an amused voice. " Whatever part of my twisted brain makes these nightmares." I mumbled whilst squeezing my eyes shut and trying to wake up. " Am I really that bad company?" Aragorn joked. " Will you be quiet for just one moment!" I growled not opening my eyes. " What are you even trying to do?" He asked. My dark purple eyes flew open and I let out a deep sigh of frustration. " I am trying to wake up!" I snapped. " Well if you had listened to me at all you would know this is not at dream." Aragorn laughed. " It has to be a dream because you are dead!" I spat at him. " Are you really that desperate for me to be dead?" Aragorn smiled. " No I am just realistic!" I yelled in frustration. I slammed my eyes shut trying to keep the tears from spilling over but one tear spilt over and rolled slowly down my cheek. Aragorn was silent for a moment. " I can assure you my friend I am not dead." I opened my eyes slowly. " How?" I asked cautiously. " well in dreams you can't feel pain right?" He asked. I nodded like a small child. So just do something that might hurt." He concluded. I nodded and yanked out my dagger, dragging it across my flesh in one swift movement. I felt sharp pain in my arm as I did this. Aragorn grabbed my arm and ripped the dagger out of my hand. My eyes widened. " YOUR ALIVE!" I screeched. " WHY DID YOU CUT YOURSELF!" He yelled back at me. " I thought I was dreaming?" I replied innocently. Aragorn laughed quietly, soon I joined in and we got louder. In a matter of moments we were both doubled over laughing until we could not breath.