Mini Stories

"I Hate You..."

I stood there, letting the words run through my veins like water in a stream.

Replaying. Every. Word.

I get it alright? Quit saying those things, please.

"Don't eat that, you'll get fat."

"Don't stop now. Run another mile. And then do it again."

"Study harder. Get all A's. Oh but don't forget to do sports and stuff."

"Do you really want to eat that much?"

"Why are you always tired?"

"You should smile, be happy."

"Quit looking emotionless and be grateful."

"Screw what you feel. They don't care."

"Another therapist down. I guess it's back to the drawing board with you."

"Make an effort in your appearance so they like you."

"Don't do that. It's unladylike."

"Quit making everything about you."

"Don't be such a disappointment."

"Oh you're depressed? Honey just think positive."

"Oh you're suicidal? Honey just think positive."

And I yelled these words to her for hours on end.

"Why are you crying?"

Why am I crying?

Maybe it's the hunger that hangs in the back of my mind.

Or the long nights of terror and insomnia.

Or the constant need to be perfect by your standards.

Or is it the aching need to feel the blade kiss my skin again.

Or is it the way that I'm repulsed by what I see standing before me?

"Silly girl. They won't care." The words leave the lips with poison and venom, seeping into the mind and skin of myself.

"Well I'm sorry that I'm not what you wanted." I say as if they could hear.

I'm angry that this is what it has come to.

"You are so stupid." I tell her, over and over again.

"You are such a disappointment." I say over, and over again.

"I hate the way you look." I shout in agony over, and over again.

"You are not needed here!" I say gravely to the girl in front of me over, and over again.

"You will never be wanted." I seethe over, and over again.

"I hate you!" I scream to the mirror.

"I hate you." I murmur to the girl in the mirror.

"I hate you..." I whisper to my reflection.

"I hate you..."