Mini Stories

Nightmares

Hey guys! So for one of my classes in school we had to write about something in our lives and it turned out a lot better than I thought it would and wanted to share it with you guys. :)

Nightmares

Maybe if you can’t
Wake up from the nightmare,
You're not asleep at all.

    You get used to them after awhile I guess. Sort of. Never fully will I be used to them. Once I think I'm over one horror, new ones sprout like wildflowers in a field. A new one, with the same ending as the rest. Some nights, I don't even dream. But those many nights I do, become a living hell. No control. No way out, every time. Sometimes they are bearable, but that is only sometimes. I can usually wake myself up. But these dreams seemed to keep me trapped in their hold. Like a man to his field, I am a slave to my dreams. Only waking when the dream has ended, and I am all but tossed back into reality. They all start and end the same. Starting with a happy opening scene, which then turns into a dark and twisted movie unfolding beneath my eyelids. They all end with the death of me. In one way or another, they end. And I am awoken from the terrible scenes. Drenched in a cold sweat, my body shakes and writhes in fear. Sitting up, I end up turning into stone. I know that none of it was true, but my mind is set in a fight or flight mode. My breathing becomes ragged as I fight myself to calm down. Clammy hands wipe the fallen tears as I replay the awful nightmare in my mind. Horrid images seemed to be swirling in my mind, waiting to touch down. It was just a dream. It was just a dream. But it all felt real, it all feels real. Ragged breaths that leave my chapped lips as I fight to gain control. The shaking subsides as I look through the dark room. My clock reads almost two in the morning. Looking outside through my large window I'm able to relax. In. Out. In. Out. My breathing finally back to normal, I can focus. The haziness in my mind leaves as I find myself back in reality. No nightmares, no fear, just a dark room. Running a shaky hand through my disheveled hair, my eyes focus in the dark. Why won’t they just go away? The one clear thought that seems to ring through my mind. What have I done to deserve these awful images that play through my head almost every night. What have I done to have these dreams suffocate me nearly every night.

Most nights I would find myself returning to the horrid slumber. But tonight was something different. This wasn’t one of those dreams that was pieced together like a puzzle to create a bigger picture. This was one that I knew all too well. One that not only existed in my dreams, but in my true life. It was like I couldn't get away from it. I had to constantly remind myself to forgive and forget. But a part of me never could just let go. I needed to forget what he did. It was easy most times to do that, but times like these seemed to help make that thing more real. He should not of left at the time that he did. The aching feeling that he is still out there, but having no knowledge of where he might be hurts. He was my brother. The one person who seemed to have started this hurricane of horrors. The fights, the pain. Sometimes I wish for it to be death that I mourn for. Not the leaving of a brother that left a bigger scar than any physical mark made. I remember when the dreams first started. Almost immediately after he left I was thrown into the awful images that haunt me as if they were my own demons. Ready to strike, not only in my sleep, but in the hours I lay awake, they were there. Maybe it wasn't just a nightmare that haunted my sleep. It always seemed to be the same thing that occurred while I was awake. The nightmare was just an old chapter in my book, nearly forgotten by  the chaos in my mind. Another chapter in my life for my mind to twist like a vine around me as I sleep, tightening its hold on me every passing second.

Unfolding the sheets from against their tight hold on my aching body, I lie back,easing my heavy breaths. My skin remains cold, but on the inside, immense heat seems to pour through my veins. Lying there seemingly motionless I was able to gather my thoughts. I remembered a saying from him that always seemed to stick with me. Maybe if you can’t wake up from a nightmare you're not asleep at all. Maybe this was what he meant when he had repeated this many times to me. Curling back under the blankets that now enveloped me, I try to find peace in my mind of chaos. Thoughts run wild as I bring my body down from its high of emotions. All I need is a little peace. Just a little bit to get me through until the next night. Where the cycle renews.