outlines ✰ l.h.

chapter twenty-one

"I don't-I don't know," I choked out. I wiped the tear from my cheek as Luke embraced me.

"Andy, don't do that. There's no reason to cry." He assured me, smoothing down the back of my frizzy hair.

"But there is," I whispered. 

He pulled away from me and rested his hands carefully on my shoulders. He stared into my eyes as if he was searching for something. "What is it?"

"You know," I awkwardly laughed. My face was dry. Luke's presence had erased any sadness within me. 

He nodded and looked down at his feet. Luke removed his hands from my shoulders and put them in his pocket, "You deserve a very long talk from me."

He grabbed my hand and led me to the couch in his living room. We sat in the dark, only the rumbling air vents being heard. If it wasn't for that, you would be able to hear my heart beat from where he was sitting next to me.

Luke turned to me, "First of all, where the hell did this bruise come from on your eye?" 

"I got in an accident a couple days ago. It's fine, I'm fine." I assured him.

"And you didn't tell me? Are you okay? Is anything broken? What happened-"

I stopped him there, "I'm seriously okay. It was just me driving. Just some bruising. I'm fine, really."

His hair fell into his face as he nodded. There was a long pause and silence crept over us. I just sat and stared at him as he fiddled with the holes in his jeans.

"I'm sorry." Luke whispered. "About everything. Kat, skipping school, not talking to you. Everything. I wish I could give you an explanation, but the best thing I can come up with is I'm just confused and broken and I don't know how to cope with anything."

My heart ached for him, but my heart ached for myself too. He knew what he was doing was wrong, but at the same time he lost his first love and she was all he knew.

He sighed again and stared at me with a sullen pout. "Andy, I loved Kat. Or I thought I did. And losing her was so hard." He admitted. My heart was so broken over this, over him. I wanted to cry again. I was so afraid of him choosing her over me. It's any girl's nightmare. "But losing you would be harder."

My heart skipped a beat, the second of joy flushed my cheeks. All I could do was stay silent and let him speak. 

"I ran back to Kat when I was unsure or scared or vulnerable. But I don't want her, okay? I want you, and only you, and all of you. And I needed time to figure that out. I needed to spend time with myself to figure out what was best for me and my brokenness." His tone was so serious and so convincing. "I'm not perfect by any means and you know that. And I want to be better for you."

Luke took my hand in his, squeezing it gently. "I want to be with you, Andy."

I felt overjoyed. I felt loved and cared for. But then I remembered...everything else. All of the dark and gloomy times where I didn't feel either of those things. I looked down at our hands that were loosely holing each others. "I don't know, Luke. One day we were right here on this couch getting way too close for people who are supposed to be friends, and then I found out you were still seeing her. How do you think that makes me feel?" 

He huffed, letting go of my hand. I could tell he was getting upset with himself. "Shitty. I know it does. I know how you feel. And the fact that I've made you feel that way makes me sick."

"I'm not trying to guilt you, okay? I'm not trying to make you feel horrible about yourself or that you're some kind of monster. I just need you to understand." I explained to him as kindly as I could. I felt so guilty for wanting to be an asshole to him when I first got here.

"I do. I really do. And I'm sorry that I took my hurt out on the wrong things." He said. "I'm an idiot." Luke grumbled, shoving his face into his hands. 

"You're not an idiot," I told him. "You made a mistake." I peered around the dark room, looking for something to say as if it would pop up in thin air. "I want to trust you."

His head popped up from his hands. We stared intensely at each other.

"Prove to me that I can trust you." I lowly said. I watched as he scooted over closer to me. 

"I will." He fiddled with my hair, twisting it around his fingers and letting it fall.

I softly touched his wrist. "Prove to me that I'm the only one," I whispered. 

A small smile broke out on him. "I will," he whispered back. He leaned into me and my heart raced again.

I stopped him, pulling my head back and away from him. I looked up at him, batting my eyelashes at him. "Promise me that I'm the only one."

He tucked my hair behind my ear, his stare on my lips only getting heavier. "I promise."

Luke slowly leaned into me, tilting his head to the left and leaving a soft kiss on my lips. The stubble on his face tickled my upper lip and left it tingling after he pulled away.

He took a sharp breath in, "Tell me something."

I was so fond of his voice. Deep, compelling, soft. "Hmmm," I hummed, still l recovering from his kiss. 

He fiddled with my hand for a few seconds and firmly placed his hand on my knee. He leaned in closer to me again and my smile grew larger. 

Luke got close enough to where I could feel his gentle breathing on my lips. I wanted nothing more than to close that gap between us.

He squeezed my knee a little harder and gazed deeply into my eyes, "Tell me you love me."

-

A/N: 

OH SHIT THERE GOES LUKE WITH THE PREMATURE "I LOVE YOU"

it's okay literally everyone does it

DOES EVERYONE LIKE THIS BC I WAS SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME I WROTE THIS

thank u guys so much for reading i appreciate it so so much i love u guys

if u see this comment ur age so everyone who doesn't read this gets confused as to why everyone is commenting numbers