quixotic. ↣ d.h.

xlvi: concrete

the moment the door clicked closed behind zoe's delicate frame, a knowing smile rippled the skin around adrian's sunken eyes. "she's pretty?"

    dan was taken aback, and he sputtered, mind still looping around in a daze after the prolonged eye contact with her. "what?"

    "come on," adrian begged. "i may be young, but i'm far from stupid." his laughter softened. "i see the way you look at her. are you guys dating?"

    a blush bloomed on dan's cheeks and his eyes found their resting place on a the dust bunnies beneath the plastic hospital bed. he suddenly realized - for the second time that day - that the life around him was concrete. it was rough and real and far from an illusion. he wasn't in his own little snow globe, everything its own part with its own dictated pattern. everything was constantly shifting, slanting, spinning, and he needed to do more than sit back and watch the madness unfurl: he needed to dive into it himself.

    zoe wasn't his. not wholly, not yet. and why was that? simply because he hadn't clamped down on his ignored anxiety and asked her to be. he'd just been puttering along, taking it a day at a time and letting the pieces fall where they may; which was fine, for some things in life. but not this. not zoe. he wanted her, and she deserved to know that.

    "not exactly," dan admitted quietly. his heartbeat quickened as he realized what had to be done. what if-

    "she looks at you the same way, you know." adrian smirked softly. "that's special. don't ever let that go."

    in spite of everything, dan smiled. he reached out and ruffled his little brother's unkempt hair, trying not to think about how many more times he would get to do that. "when did you get to be so wise?"

    adrian started to recoil before freezing; maybe he was thinking the same thing as dan. "oh, you know, hospitals and their abundant free time. i've been reading a lot of books."

    "have you really?"

    "no. video games, mostly."

    "of course."

    they held eye contact for a few stolen moments before adrian spoke up again. "go talk to her."

     dan nodded slowly and cemented this exact instant in his memory; these days, every minute ushered in a new change, and a deep notion was telling him that this would be one of those times he'd want to look back on, for better or for worse. "okay. i'll be back to see you in a bit, okay, buddy?"

    "sure," adrian said.

    dan turned and braced himself before pushing the door open.

    the second he stepped out into the hallway, he was pulled tightly into his mother's arms. her brittle body smelled strongly, a pungent combination of cigarette smoke, stale alcohol, and the metallic tinge of blood.

    "it's the end," she sobbed into his shoulder.

    dan went numb, frozen and falling and utterly unfixable; this was another concrete wall he was hitting head first, and a dull ache began to throb behind his eyes as his eyes fluttered closed.

    "i know," he muttered brokenly. he was distantly aware of the empty waiting room, of phil and zoe's absence.

had she left him? and where was his father?

he couldn't think anymore. he'd been fighting too long, a short surrender was surely owed to him. he collapsed against his mother and let the feelings overtake him.

a/n: please please vote/comment with thoughts!!! more to come.

(if you're a stranger things fan, check out my stranger things fic if that's something you'd be interested in :) )