quixotic. ↣ d.h.

xxv: moonlight

it was by sheer luck that neither mr. nor mrs. woods recognized him as adrian howell's brother. the rest of dinner passed in simple small talk, and, despite the bittersweet comments that occasionally tainted the conversation, dan found himself not wanting to leave their house.

"my, daniel, it's getting late! should you be getting home? will your parents be worried?" mrs. woods asked as she cleared the table.

dan laughed to himself. he could picture his parents now: his dad was likely passed out drunk on the couch, garrish game show lights flashing over his aged face; his mother would be in adrian's room, reading to him to take his mind off the pain, too caught up in the son who she could see fading to pay any mind to the one that was floating away quietly.

"i told them i would be back late," dan lied.

"we have english homework to do," zoe supplied helpfully as she stood and pushed in her chair.

"oh, alright! see you later, then!" her mother called as they climbed the stairs.

"i can maybe see what you would need to escape from," dan said as they went into zoe's room.

she walked over to the window and stood with her back to him. "really?" her voice was so soft, so vulnerable. the frosted moonlight wrapped around her, giving her an ethereal glow. she seemed far more tired than she had before dinner.

"yeah. they were a little intense."

zoe nodded and bent over. she unlatched the wide window that overlooked the street below and swung it open. a gush of chilly air filled the room, raising goosebumps on their arms.

"here, sit." she gestured to the cushioned seat before flopping onto a corner of it herself.

dan walked over and sat beside her. for a moment, the only sound was that of the highway in the distance, thousands of cars whooshing by with no regard to what they were passing, only where they were going.

"sometimes i feel guilty," zoe said quietly. "there are kids like you, with parents like your father, and there are kids with no parents..." she shook her head. "i get so angry with myself for not being content with what, with who, i have."

she was startled by the words coming out of her mouth. they were far from perfectly poised, but they were raw, honest, genuine. zoe suspected it had something to do with what dan had shared with her earlier. with his secrets resting heavily in her chest, she felt more comfortable sharing some of hers.

"it isn't that simple," dan said. he wanted her to look him in the eyes, but he knew she wouldn't. "there is no such thing as pure black and white, good or bad. everything, everyone is so much more complex than that. there is so much grey."

"i suppose you're right," zoe conceded.

dan's hands itched for his camera. the white light of stars was reflected in her eyes, and the wind blew her hair loose from its braid. the dips of her collarbones were highlighted in the golden glow of the streetlamp below them. her lips were slightly parted as she breathed in the cold air like she'd never get enough.

"thanks for letting me stay for dinner, by the way," dan said, finally tearing his eyes away from her.

"it's no bother. you can come any time; my mother was thrilled to have you here." she rolled her eyes.

dan cracked a smile, knocking zoe's shoulder with his own playfully. "only if next time i make up a story about 'shy club', you help. i think if we join forces we can make her believe it's practically cult-ish."

her eyes lit up and dimples formed in her round cheeks. "i think you're onto something there."

sitting there on that window seat, both dan and zoe felt more relaxed than they had in months. 

a/n: i'm finding more and more comfort in writing than i ever have, and it's great. anyone else just living in a constant state of political despondency these days bc same

i'm so tired please vote/comment/share and just be kind to others