Petty Crime ✓ maxian

!one¡

<NOT EDITED!>
point out my mistakes
i dare you

"Come on! This'll be great!" Chad agrees.

"Fine, but we better make this quick," the third friend, who we'll call Jeff*, agrees.

Max and Chad hurriedly try to climb over the chain fence. Jeff just looks at them with a straight face before pushing open the gate. Max and Chad just freeze and get down from the two inches the climbed, then face palm. The three sneak past the gate and quietly close it. Jeff follows behind them, being the camera man. Trying to be sneaky they crouch down slightly and shuffle forward. As quietly as possible, which isn't that quiet, they make their way through the property.

"There it is!" Chad "whispers", pointing to a small (and cheap) rocket in the grass.

"Be quiet!" Max whispers harshly.

Chad rolls his eyes and doesn't say anything else. Max nods in approval before looking around the property. Slowly he gets closer to the target before attempting to do a spy summersault move over to the rocket. Attempted is the key word, he failed terribly. Chad crawls over to him before smacking the back of his head. Jeff stays behind, filming the two from the bush they took cover in. Max grabs the rocket and army crawls back over to the bush. Chad follows him, going much slower because of his struggles.

"Hurry up Chad!" Max whisper shouts a little louder then he meant to.

Suddenly they hear the jingle of a dog collar, before loud barking. In panic the three boys jump up and try to make a run for it. An old man, maybe in his sixties comes running out of the house in the middle of the property. Wielding a gun he starts yelling some nonsense. Once they reach the gate they realize he's threatening to shoot them. Not wanting to die over a rocket with Pokémon cards they stop. Begrudgingly they do as told and turn around, putting their hands up. The man walks over with a slight limp, holding the gun defensively.

"Turn off that damn camera!" The old man shouts.

Jeff hurriedly pretends to turn it off, but really keeps it recording. The man gets behind them and uses the gun to push them foreword. In defeat the boys walk towards the house. The dog walks with the old man, still lightly growling. Once they make it to the house the man instructs them to sit on the cold wooden porch. After doing as told the old man yells for his presumably wife. A younger women comes out instead, maybe about as old as the three boys. She does as told and calls the police. Jeff holds the camera with one hand as it rests on his leg, still recording everything.

"Here, watch them!" The old man says, shoving the gun at the girl.

The girl takes it and the man heads inside. Probably to put on actual clothes since he's wearing pajamas. The girl shivers slightly, since she's only in long, thin pajama pants and a long, thin sleeved pajama shirt. Jeff hands the camera to Max before slipping off his coat. Max quickly realizes it's still recording and secretly films what's happening. Jeff sits up but doesn't get up, he just offers his coat to the girl. Surprise is clear on her face, but she takes it since it's better then freezing. She smiles slightly. Wrapping his coat around herself. After relishing the warmth of the coat she thanks him.

"Max, warm me up you faggot," Jeff says with a calm face.

Max just snorts and slips his arm out of one of his sleeves. Jeff scoots over and presses his side up to Max's. With a bit of struggle he wraps the side of Max's coat around him. Chad tries not to laugh, but ends up losing it and laughing at them. Jeff Justus cuddles into the warmth of Max and his coat. He gives Chad a quick look that says 'shut up I'm cold'. Max just rolls his eyes and wraps his arm around Jeff, not knowing where else to put it. Chad grabs the camera from Max and secretly records the two. After a few boring minutes the old man comes back out. Quickly he assesses what he missed and gives Jeff an angry look before taking the gun from the girl. It's at this time the police finally pull up and head over.

"Finally! These hoodlums trespassed on my property probably to try and rob us! Then that one had the nerve to offer his coat to my daughter to try and swoon her to get off the hook!" The old man says angrily.

"So I can't do something nice without being the bad guy?" Jeff asks sarcastically.

"We were just trying to grab our rocket that landed in the property. We just wanted to grab it and leave. And the camera is for the video we were recording, which the rocket was part of," Max explains, trying to stay calm.

"I see, I'm going to have to go with the kids on this one. They were just messing around," the police officer says calmly.

"But look at them! They gave my daughter his coat so they could pretend to be gay and use that as an excuse!" The old man says, even more angrier.

"Sir, they said nothing about being gay, you're the one who brought that up," the police officer says, seeming unamused.

"You're just going to let them go!" The old man basically yells.

"Yes," the officer says.

"You three are gonna get it! I'm suing you!" The old man shouts.

"And she's keeping your coat!" The old man adds before shoving his daughter inside with him and slamming the door.

The police officer just shakes his head and starts walking away. Jeff grumbles angrily about his jacket. Chad and Max can't take him seriously as he's cuddled up into Max's side and coat with his chin hidden under the coat. After a few minutes of laughing and Jeff grumbling angrily, they get up. Chad starts walking away and Max starts to follow but Jeff starts complaining about being cold. In annoyance Max picks Jeff up, and in surprise Jeff clings to him. Unfazed Max zips up his large coat over them. Jeff complains about this being way to gay, but shuts up after Max threatens to leave him cold instead. Grumpily Jeff rests his head on the side of Max's as they walk.

(*"my name Jeff" - totally legit howtobasic quote.)

[if you take this or any of my other fics seriously, you have a problem. I don't take any of my writing seriously]