Through the Lens

Name One

I hated how much I wanted to run after her, how much I just wanted to forget the past few months and just act like none of it happened. I wanted to run into her arms and let her hold me and never leave her again, but I couldn't. She'd broken the trust I had in her to always have my back, to always be there, and I no longer had the luxury of chasing after her anymore. I had my mother and my sister to worry about, an album to release, promo and a tour to do, and her and her bullshit games just weren't something I had time for. I'd spent enough time chasing her as she ran away from me, and I wasn't about to waste anymore.

"Harry..." Mum's voice echoed through the kitchen, and I looked up to see her standing in front of me.

"Shit, sorry you must be hungry." I said, trying to compose myself as I grabbed the bag of food and started to open it. "I got a bunch of different stuff, I didn't know what you'd feel like."

"Honey." She said as she put her hand over mind, stilling it as she looked up at me. "What happened with Hailey?"

I closed my eyes and sighed as I started to move again, opening the cupboard and grabbing out some plates, grabbing cutlery as I started to dish up the food.

"Nothing. She never should have come here." I said simply as I scooped some rice onto a plate.

"She came here because she loves you." Mum said softly. "She came because she wanted to comfort you."

"I'm fine, Mum." I said as I kissed her head and turned to grab some glasses from the cupboard, only to be stopped by Mum's arm pulling me back.

"You're not fine." She said sternly. "Of course you're not fine, Harry. None of us are. Don't do that."

"I'm not doing anything." I defended.

"Yes you are, you've done it since you were eight years old." She scolded me. "You don't have to be strong for me, or for your sister, you are allowed to be sad too."

"I know that, Mum." I sighed.

"Then stop acting like what just happened with Hailey isn't eating at you." She said. "I know you feel bad about it, Harry."

"I don't have time to deal with her and all that shit right now. I've got bigger things to worry about."

"Honey, look. I know that you've always felt like since your dad and I divorced that you need to take care of me, and that's not your responsibility. I'm your mother, I take care of you, that's my job." She said as she reached up and cupped my face in her hands.

"I just want you to be alright, Mum." I said, tears pooling in my eyes. "It's killing me that I can't fix this, that I couldn't keep him here, that I can't stop you from hurting."

"That's not your job, Harry. I hate that I can't take your pain away either. I know how much Robin meant to you, and I couldn't stop you from losing him. But I can try to stop you from losing Hailey." She sighed.

"She bailed on me, Mum. She promised me she'd always be there, and she wasn't."

"Maybe not in the last few months, but she tried to be tonight and you didn't let her." She said, giving me that look she always did when she gently called me out like only she could.

"I just...I'm so angry with her. I can't just forgive her for this, not when it hurts this much." I sighed. "And I can't just keep trying to fight for her when she just keeps running away."

"I just want you to be happy, love." She said as she ran her fingers through my hair. "You're not happy, and I don't think you have been since you left her."

I sighed as I pulled her into a hug, kissing her head as I held her while we stood in the kitchen. It had only been a day since Robin's funeral, and my emotions were all over the place. I knew that Hailey was what I wanted, that she made me happy, but I couldn't ignore the fact that she did the one thing I never thought she would. She'd let me down, and made me question if she was who I thought she was, and I was scared to give her another opportunity to hurt me. I was tired of hurting her, of us hurting each other, and I didn't know what to do about it anymore.