Church Bells ｡ Matthew Murdock

20 - THEY ALMOST MADE IT

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned."

Looming chimes of church bells calmed her racing heart but her mind was beginning to crumble with the weight of finally seeking her revenge. In the tiniest places of her mind, she almost didn't want to find peace, knowing vengeance was never the key to salivation. Which was why Juliette Allen had found herself in a very familiar church only hours before the barrel of a gun was pressed to her chest. She had come looking for guidance but knowing tonight, a sin would rest upon her thin shoulders anyway. Father Lantom was perched on the other side of the confessional, waiting to help her. "What is it you wish to confess, dear child?"

Juliette Allen hesitated, her hands fiddling in her lap. "Well, it's not really something I've done. It's something that will happen today. Something that has fuelled my thoughts for months now, something that I thought might set me free."

"What is it you speak of?" 

She sucked in a breath, "Revenge, Father."

The holy man nodded, his face unreadable in the dim lighting. He had known Juliette Allen for a while now, having had shared words of wisdom and watched her grow with her faith over the long months. He knew very well she was created in the light and tried her best, but with all light came darkness and he feared it would consume her one day. "Vengeance, although not the cruelest sin or the most deadly, can indeed become a sin that weighs heavy on a soul. It's quite clear you're having second thoughts about whatever revenge you seek."

Juliette tossed the idea around in her mind for a moment. She was not so sure she was having second doubts, more so feeling almost guilty about wanting to seek revenge on a man that truly deserved it. She had been trying to be good for so long but was this mission of revenge something that would taint that goodness? Would this human sin cost her something greater? 

"Remember dear child, Matthew says, you have heard that it was said, an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth, but I say to you, do not resist an evil person; but whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also." Father Lantom quoted a familiar bible verse, hoping to share some light with the Allen girl wanting nothing but peace from her tragic past. 

That storm raging on inside her mind did not die down with his words though, if anything, it seemed that fire shined brighter than ever. She wanted to turn her cheek, to try and forget the sins of her past but she was only human. "I am worried if I seek this revenge, that he above will not understand and I will be punished somehow." 

Juliette Allen did not say the words out loud, that in her heart no matter how much she wanted to be good, tonight she would allow the darkness from the Devil to cloud her judgement. It was something that would darken her soul but she would take the risk. "The Lord protects and forgives us all. If we want forgiveness, if we want his love, than he'll never abandon you. No matter the mistakes, the sins, he shall always offer a second chance."

That was enough to clear her doubts. "Thank you, Father."

The woman touched her necklace, dropping her head as a prayer fell from her lips. Father Lantom knew tonight, she would fall short of the goodness she was trying so hard to reach. Before she was gone from his sight though, he had one last word of advice. "Do not let the Devil change your soul, child. He may be clever, he maybe handsome, he may try to charm you, but seek the Lord and you shall always find lightness."

Juliette Allen was not sure if he meant the actual Devil, the fallen angel who had once been God's favourite, or the Devil of Hell's Kitchen that had stolen her heart. Either way, she was doomed from the start in loving somebody with a great darkness in his soul. 

***

The barrel of the gun was slightly cold against her skin and although her heart was racing madly against her throat and fresh tears were gathering in her eyes with the reality of everything finally setting in, Juliette Allen was not scared, not even with the looming presence of death hovering over her shoulder tonight. Give my love to your parents.

The words of Markus O'Harris were spiteful, dripping with so much hate for the daughter he never got the chance to know or love. They were a promise that tonight despite her best efforts, he had won the game they had been playing. Juliette Allen did not blink though, did not cower away from his sickening smirk. She could have cried, could have regretted her decision, she could have begged for her life but she did not. But finally, the woman who was once so timid by the world, was standing tall and mighty and accepting her fate. 

Behind her, Matthew Murdock's shouts were struggled as gunfire continued to fan around the dock. Officers were gunned down by Kitchen Irish mobsters but it was almost like somebody above was protecting him from harm. Although, total darkness doused his vision, he could hear the clicking of the barrel, the trigger being pulled back. The sounds were so loud in his mind that he was sure he would hear them forever. 

"No."

A plea of a blind man, the kick of the gun as the trigger was pulled backwards, the fall of a woman that was not so scared to die. Suddenly, the world was dying around him and he couldn't hold on any longer. He could hear the heavy footsteps of a murderer fleeing the scene, his gun falling to the ground in a clutter of all hope. Matthew Murdock had abandoned his attempt in fighting back against Kitchen Irish, the only thing that mattered was reaching her. 

Wetness pooled around her, thick blood oozing from the wound. Her limp body had hit the ground within seconds, Matthew being too slow to catch her before she fell. Quickly, he was pulling her body into his lap, rocking her slightly. He could still hear her heartbeat, slowing to nothing though. "Jules, please. Jules." 

Juliette's vision had grown cloudy, her entire body flooded with unbearable pain. Her breathing had grown stuffy, her organs shutting down and her life slipping away. With the only strength she had left, her palm touched his cheek which was wet from tears. "Don't cry, Matt." Her voice was so weak but still beautiful and delicate. "Heaven doesn't seem so far away anymore. I get to see my parents now. It's okay..."

Matthew cried quietly, his hands covered in her warm blood which was slowly turning cold. "It's not okay, Jules. I should have stopped this, I could have--"

"No, this wasn't your fault." A cough sounded from her chest, blood now dotting her parted lips. Her heartbeat was so faint now, her life almost nothing but a distant memory. "It's okay to let me go. Please, let me go because everything's finally okay." 

Her palm slipped away from his cheek, falling limply against her chest. Matthew Murdock felt the pain from heartbreak knock on his chest, reminding him that everyone died around him. Hot tears were leaking down his cheeks. When he couldn't hear her beating heart anymore, that's when his head dropped, wishing heaven wasn't so far for him now. With shaking hands, he felt for the crucifix around her neck. "Don't leave me..." His croaky whispers were not heard by the heavens though, just the sound of his cries in the night air. He couldn't help but think one single thought with the loss of Juliette Margot Allen. They almost made it.