A:Q's

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Q: Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?
A: A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.

Q: How do you make a fire with two sticks?
A: Make sure one is a match!

Q. Why did the banana go to the hospital?
A: Because he wasn’t peeling well!

Q: What’s the slipperiest country?
A: Greece!

Q: Why can’t you say a joke while standing on ice?
A: Because it might crack up!

Q: Why did the orange stop in the middle of the hill?
A: It ran out of juice!

Q: What do postal workers do when they’re mad?
A: They stamp their feet.

Q: Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?
A: The players dribble a lot.

Q: What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?
A: An envelope.

Q: What nails do carpenters hate to hit?
A: Fingernails.

Q: Who earns a living by driving his customers away?
A: A taxi driver.

Q: What two things can you not have for breakfast?
A: Lunch and dinner.

Q: What did one eye say to the other?
A: Between you and me, something smells.

Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: What did Cinderella say to the photographer?
A: Some day my prints will come.

Q: What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?
A: A stick.

Q: Why was the math book sad?
A: It had too many problems.

Q: Why did the belt go to jail?
A: It held up a pair of pants.

Q: How do hair stylists speed up their job?
A: They take short cuts!

Q: What is a boxer’s favorite drink?
A: Punch.

Q: How can you tell that a train just went by?
A: It left its tracks.

Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
A: Just in case he got a hole in one!

Q: What did the judge say to the dentist?
A: Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

Q: What did the painter say to the wall?
A: I got you covered.

Q: Have you heard the joke about the butter?
A: I better not tell you, it might spread.

Q: What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from?
A: Parachute school!

Q: What is black when clean, and white when dirty?
A: A blackboard.

Q: What kind of phones do people in jail use?
A: Cell phones

Q: What kind of driver has no arms or legs?
A: a scewdriver

Q: What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?
A: A ruler.

Q:What's the definition of bravery?

A: A man  with diarrhea chancing a fart!

Q: What did one butt cheek say to the other?

A: "Together, we can stop this s**t."

Q:  Why was no one riding the bike?
A: Because it's two tired.

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