Waited to breath// part two of Waited For You

Not enough?

Landon's P.O.V.
What does she mean that's not enough?
I'll be the first to admit that I didn't expect my life to be a big house and white picket fence with kids running around, but that was before I fell in love with Joelle.
I'm willing to go through whatever with her and if that means a kid then that means a kid. She can't expect me to take this all in one stride though I mean this all just kind of fell into my lap and I'm trying to keep up.
It's been about three months since the funeral and I'm still racing. Joelle has not looked back on the decision she made and was able to sign adoption papers a week ago. I don't know how she did it, but Sammy is officially her son and she's taken on that role 100 percent. Making lunch, taking him to school and play practice. He is one of the busiest 2nd graders I know.
Nova has been helping out a lot and even Tara has stopped by a few times. We visit Layla every Sunday and she has taken a true liking to Sammy. Every Sunday she has some type of gift for him.
Then there's me. I made my decision long before all of this happened in the last few months. Joelle. Joelle will always be my decision. I have officially become the designated ice cream buyer after Sammy's plays and if Joelle can't drop off or pick up I'm always there to pick up where she left off. I think it's still not a settling idea for Joelle, so it's more like pulling teeth in order to let her let me do anything to help, but I can see the growth. I can see that she hesitates a little less each time she asks me to do something and I'm willing to wait. I'm willing to continue to show her in every way that I'm just as much all in as she is.
" Last one to the house has to help Jo cook dinner," I yell out to Sammy and we race to the door. We have been staying at my house recently. I was able to convince Joelle that the location and space was best for all of us, but I might as well throw an arrow in the dark before I think of a way to have her sell her house and move in with me permanently.
" Slow down, we don't need anyone breaking a limb," Joelle yells out and I grab Sammy and spin him around before putting him down and beating him to the door.
" No fair," he yells out and I smile.
" Sorry buddy, looks like you're going to need to grow a couple more feet in order to beat me," I poke and he turns to Joelle.
" He's a cheater," he pouts and Joelle crosses her arms and shakes her head with a smile.
" We don't accept cheaters in this House," Joelle calls and within seconds I hear her yell attack and they have both knocked me down to the couch.
I'm laughing so hard that I barely hear my phone ring. It's Layla.
" Hello," I call into the phone and she laughs.
" Everything Okay, you sound winded," she asks and I smile.
" Yeah, dealing with some sore losers, what's going on," I ask and she is quiet for a moment.
" I know when you Agreed to come visit me on Sunday's with Joelle, you said to just leave whatever tension we had between each other in the past, but I need to talk Landon. I keep looking down at this baby belly and I could literally blow at any moment and I don't want to have this baby until I talk to you," she calls and I pause for a moment and look at Joelle and Sammy who have now migrated to the kitchen.
" I'll be over in ten," I inform and then hang up the phone.
Coming up to Layla's door will never feel normal. Every time I come here I get this itching feeling that something just isn't right and it's not, it won't be until I do what I'm going to do today. I feel my jacket pocket for the box burning a whole into my left pocket.
" Landon," she breaths out and I walk in.
" Bigger than when I last saw you, I didn't think that was possible," I joke and she hits me playfully.
" Jerk," she smiles and I laugh.
" I won't stop loving you," she starts and I shake my head.
" Layla," I start and she stops me.
" Let me finish," she interrupts." I will never stop loving you because you are an amazing man. I have done nothing but use you all these years. That's all I really know how to do. I use friendships, relationships and drugs because I know I can't depend on myself. Landon you are a guy who I always knew I could depend on and I'm sorry that I leaned on you for so long. You are someone a girl could meet and not help but fall in love with. Someone that once you love, you can't stop loving. You are someone that deserves love and I know Joelle and Sammy will give that to you. I know they are the type of people who love just like you do," she explains and we are sitting too close on the couch, but I don't move. For this one last time I don't move. " I can't say sorry enough for the person I've been to you," she finishes and I begin to speak.
" I loved you Layla. When everyone was telling me what they saw in you, I could never see it because I saw the you that use to sneak through my window back at my parents house. The you that would write me notes and stick them to my notebooks. The you that stood by me when I decided I was going to take over a business. Joelle came into my life and showed me that there was someone out there that I didn't have to pick apart in order to find the pieces I love. She showed me that love isn't a choice and you don't get to pick the pieces. Love is whole. Love is chasing someone, Love is compromise, Love is having someone take in a kid as their own and not blinking twice on if you are going to stay around and start your position in it all. Love for me is Joelle. Don't get me wrong Layla. I still love that girl that was there for me in all those times and I still care about you more than words can say, but I'm not your Joelle. I'm not that someone. You think you love me now until you find that someone will love every part of you and I'm not that person," I finish and I see a tear streaking her face as she gives me a hug.
" I'm asking Joelle to marry me," I announce to her as I show her the ring and she gasps. " I'm asking her to marry me and before I do that I need you to let me let you go just as much as you need me to do the same. We aren't good for each other. We never will be," I finish.
" She's going to love it Landon. She's going to be a great wife to you and mom to Sammy and I want nothing more than for you to get to live through that uninterrupted. We need to let each other go " she breaths out with the tears still falling and I smile to her.
" I'm glad we didn't end off where we were. We needed this," I assure and she nods.
" We needed this,"she repeat.