UNDER THE MOON

Chapter Thirteen

"Where are we Em?" he asked looking a little bit confused. I looked down at the small sweetheart lying in my arms. I couldn't say anything or form a word. I've never been good at lying, so I didn't know what to tell a four year old kid, that I was losing him, after all this year.

We are at.... at a job interview for me," I lied hoping to god that he doesn't notice. Xavier looked at me like I was talking to a puppet.

"No, we are not. your lying." there goes the hope I just had earlier. I stared at him for a while racking my brain for another lie. I came up blank.

"EM, I wanna know where we are, and don't lie to me." he demanded angry, that was all it took for me to glare at him harshly.

"Don't yell at me you are not my father, and I don't have to tell you anything, I'm the adult here," I harshly spat back.

"Good because I would hate to be dad, I hate him." I step toward him, both shocked and confused.

"Why would you hate dad, he is a good pers-."

"Oh, shut up Em, dad left, us and you lied to me about that too." he said looking at me with eyes full of tears and anger.

"First off, don't ever tell me to shut up, and second of all why the hell would you hate dad? He did not leave us Xavier I -"

"You told me that he went to pick up mom from work, when you took me to oaks park, and that was when I was two, so where are they Em? Are they still at work? huh? You promised me that you would always be there for me, and never lie to me, but you did. Is your promise to never leave me like mom and dad did real too or are you just waiting to ditch me just like the-."

"STOP! Xavier I would never do that to you, and you know that, why cant you just believe me when I say that there is nothing that is going to happen to us." I finished not even sure anymore. Things were falling apart and fast. I couldn't handle any of this an it is tarring me apart. I promised my self that I will never show weakness in front of my brother, but it was becoming extremely hard to hold in the tear that so badly, wants to spill over and roll down my cheeks like a hot lava.

"Xavier I'm so so, sorry, I never meant for any of this to come out I was trying to protect you, to the best of my knowledge, I was never given a hand book on how to handle, this so I just made up my own rules," I finished now feeling extremely tired from all the energy I was using to hold in my tears.

"You still lied to me, and I would have never done that to you," he said letting two crystal tear roll down his soft delicate skin. I so badly wanted to give him a hug, but he would let. I moved a little bit towards him trying to gain his trust back. I couldn't loose him, not after all the things I went through. Without noticing a light feather like stray of tears escaped my eyelids slowly dancing down my cheeks.

"Xavier, some time in life we have to lie, to protect those ones we love from getting hurt, please you have to believe me when I say I never meant for you to know about any of this, if I could I would take all of the pain away from you. Please Xavier you have to believe me. You know that I love you, you are my baby brother and I will always protect you no matter what." I step a little bit more towards him, only to have him recoil in to the corner of the room from me. God this cant be happening right now. I sat down on the floor and let all the tears I've been dying to hold them in fall to the ground, I knew I was letting my self fall, but I couldn't care, I lost the only reason, I was living for in the first place. My head was spinning in all the wrong direction and I felt like some one pulling the world from underneath me with in a heart beat. My mined went fro east to west wondering all over the places trying to find what I did wrong to actually have ended up here. Xavier got up from the corner and went over to the small bed in the middle of the room and lied down on it.