Stay with me

Kapitulo. Nueve

Sorry

Pan Alejandrina Vejar's

Well, I can't tulog tonight so I just stayed awake while looking at the vast land of the Biradas. They have this big land where they make tanim, mangoes, bananas and coconuts. No wonder, Towhtowh knows how to make akyat the puno. I was just standing on the front porch. From where I am standing I can see a long – like so long na fenced which hati the land and I wonder who owns the other half. Like I am thinking of many hacienderos and hacienderas in their horses. I smiled.

Horses makes me think of Dione – not because she looks like a horse but because she loves horses and she's an equestrienne. I miss her. I remember when we were kids, she used to cry a lot when were in public places and I let go of her hand. She's scared to be alone. She's scared of the kulog and the kidlat. When the kulog and the kidlat visits, we go to Ate Amal's room and sleep beside her. Dione will sleep at Ate Amal's chest. I will make yakap naman her arm because it comforts me.

I miss her, even if she treats me badly now.

"Bakit gising ka pa?" I was a bit nagulat when I heard Jufran's voice. I didn't realize that he was standing near the door and he's naghihikab. He was only wearing a sando and a pajama. He looked at me. "Namamahay ka ba?"

"What's that? Namamahay? Like nagka-caroling every gabi when it's Christmas?"

"Namamahay, naninibago kasi bago iyong bahay na tinutuluyan mo."

My mouth parted. "Is this what you call bago, Jufran? Like it's so luma na. Kulang na lang, cobwebs and some big spider, papasan ang haunted house itong house ninyo." I told him. He laughed.

"Hindi ko talaga alam kung nang-iinsulto ka, but then, it's the way you say it." He laughed again. He made upo to the long bench in the corner. I looked at the vast land again.

"Kanino iyong land in there?" I asked.

"Sa mga Arandia iyan." Sagot niya. "Dati walang bakod iyan. Pero noong namatay iyong Babaeng Arandia, binakuran nila iyan. Dati kasi friends iyong lolo ko saka iyong lolo nila. And then, right after the untimely death, si Raphael Arandia, binakuranan niya iyan."

"Why naman daw?" I suddenly became curios.

"Kasi, hindi si Raphael ang pinili ni Mamang. Nagpakasal si Mamang kay Papang. Nagkagiitan sila. Ayun, hanggang ngayon may rivalry sa pamilya. Kaya yabang na yabang kami kasi Paolo Arandia, inagaw niya pa sa amin si Mary."

I laughed really loud.

"Like what did he agaw to you, Jufran? Mariake isn't own by anyone. You're so nakakatawa!"

Umiling si Jufran. "Matulog ka na. Kung ano-anong pinagsasabi mo." He stood up na and he went inside the bahay. I made sunod naman to him and went to the room Mamang lent me. She said that it was Peypey's room before and it had the nicest bed. Like how the hell is a race car bed a nice bed? Like Peypey's is so matanda na for that. Feeling yata ni Peypey, ka-age niya si Ada na iyong bed ni Ada kamukha noong pumpkin carriage ni Cinderella. Like the fuck? Cars pa nga iyong design.

"Pan." Jufran called me before going inside the kwarto. He was smiling. "Thank you for being kind to our Mamang."

"Oh!" I smiled.I went to him and kissed his cheeks. "Good night, Jufran." I went inside the kwarto na and lay on the race car bed. I wondered if I will have fast dreams here. I sighed. I miss my Mama. I have no phone, I cannot contact her pa naman. But I miss her. I really miss my family.

I really thought that I have a perfect family. Now I realized that the only perfect in our family is Rocheta Emilio – Consunji. She always say how perfect she is and how beautiful she is. Siya lang talaga iyong perfect kasi, thinking about it, our clan is one big bullshit.