Tangled Fates

Tangled Fates - Chapter 9

                                                     Chapter 9

 

I just laid there staring at the ceiling, purposefully ignoring the banging sounds that were coming from downstairs. My arms were across my body, both hands resting on my stomach as I stroked my thumb against the skin there. Even after two days of knowing, three positive pregnancy tests and a doctor’s appointment, I was still in awe of the fact that I had a little miracle growing inside me.

Lying on the bed next to me was a leaflet that I’d been given yesterday by the doctor. I already knew it word for word because I’d read it over and over since my appointment yesterday. My thoughts wandered to it once more and tears prickled in my eyes as I thought about the risks and consequences that I may have unknowingly passed onto my unborn child.

Because I’d not known I was pregnant, I’d been drunk four times in the last three weeks - and not just a little drunk either, but proper rat-faced, giggling like a moron drunk. The doctor had explained all about Foetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS) and the effects that it could have on the baby - side effects including facial disfigurement, premature birth or even miscarriage. She’d been very reassuring though that FAS usually happened in extreme cases, where binge drinking was throughout the pregnancy. She had told me to just stop drinking now, take it easy, get plenty of rest and start taking prenatal vitamins. Apparently the most important advice that she could give me was to try not to stress too much. She’d explained that during the first couple of weeks of pregnancy the foetus was just dividing cells, that the alcohol consumption should have no effect on the baby. But just to be on the safe side I would have extra scans later on in the pregnancy to check on baby’s development.

She tried to get me not to worry, she said that there was nothing I could have done because I didn’t know so I shouldn’t feel bad about it now and blame myself - but that didn’t stop the guilt from building up inside me though. I’d been pregnant for only three weeks and already I felt like a terrible mother.

Mostly though I was angry. Angry at the doctor that had told me that I wouldn’t get pregnant in the first place. If things had been different then I wouldn’t have gotten drunk at all, I blamed him entirely. And apparently I was right to blame him too. The doctor that I’d seen yesterday told me that I should have been given the morning after pill that day I went to the family planning clinic. When I told her the name of the doctor that I saw, she went a little sheepish and eventually told me that Dr Stephenson, who I’d seen that day, was currently suspended from practicing medicine and was facing criminal charges of sexual assault. The guy was being accused of using his position at the clinic to prey on women and had conducted several ‘unethical’ examinations on some of them - so I guess I actually got off pretty lightly that day. I’d lodged a formal complaint against him but it looked like the guy was already in a whole heap of trouble for other stuff.

“Kay, are you coming down to help or not?”

I sighed and pushed myself up to sitting. Today was not going to be fun at all - today was the day that my mum and Cale were coming home from their honeymoon. I’d been dreading this day for the last two weeks, but since I did the test two days ago the thought of this meeting became even more of a nightmare.

Swinging my legs over the side of the bed, I forced my weary body to standing. My whole being felt exhausted because I had barely slept at all in the last forty-eight hours. Stress and worry plagued what little sleep I managed to get. The only two things that had been running through my mind for the last two days was: one, I could have a miscarriage, and two, my baby’s daddy was married to my mum. I actually couldn’t think of a more screwed up situation to be stuck in the middle of.