Letters to Lestat

Things Change

While reclined in my swivel chair, stems cross-cocked atop the edge of my desk, listening to Twisted Little Liar on my iPod, something suddenly occurred to me—it had been weeks since I'd written a letter to Lestat. Not just that, it had been weeks since Lestat had even crossed my mind. My whole life since the concert had become wrapped up in Loden and the band. Was this a betrayal on my part? Was I actually forgetting the one thing that kept my life worthwhile these last couple of years?

I pulled the sketch from my top drawer and studied it while allowing my finger to trace the hand-drawn contours of Lestat's face ever so lightly. Loden had given me the inking as a gesture of humor and sentiment. "This is what started it all," he said to me. "This innocent little drawing." His sarcasm didn't go unnoticed.

As I continued to admire the drawing, my computer screen flashed to life with an IM from Loden.

"Hey u," he wrote.

I sat up in my chair and began to reply, "Hiya back."

"So what r u doing?"

Hmmm, what am I doing? "Funny u should ask that."

"Why?"

"B/c I'm looking at the sketch u did of Lestat. U know the one."

"LOL," he wrote back. I could just imagine a wide grin beaming from his side of cyberspace. "U know it's ok that u want both of us in ur life."

"Is it?"

"Yeap. Life is strange and sometimes we need things to get us thru it. Isn't that why u have Lestat?"

"Well yeah."

"So it's all good."

"I guess," I wrote back.

"Well whatever u want to do I'm cool with it. Just glad u r in my life Chloe."

"Me 2."

"Gotta jump off. Cya soon."

"XXOO."

I was sorta glad Loden let me off the hook about the whole Lestat thing. It really took the pressure off. Sorta glad. Part of me wished, though, that he had been a little less understanding and forced me to make a decision on this.

I guess it really was up to me to decide the fate of Lestat, and maybe I was already treading toward the answer. Maybe I'd gotten consumed by the whirlwind of budding love, making room for new possibilities, because I didn't need the fantasy anymore. Maybe I was simply letting go. Maybe...