Despair of the heart

Chapter 19 - Confession

CHAPTER 19: CONFESSION

Misaki's POV

It was cold… my head was throbbing and my chest felt heavy. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around. It was dark and I couldn't see clearly but I could tell that I was alone in the room. I pushed myself up with my hands but I didn't have enough strength in me so I decided to stay still for a moment.

I closed my eyes for a second in hopes of lessening the headache that I'm feeling. I took a deep breath and then slowly exhaled, opening my eyes. The headache still persisted though so I gave up for the moment; I turned my head to the window and noticed that it was just as dark outside. My eyes then drifted to the blinking numbers on the side table which read 7:08.

I closed my eyes again realizing that yet again I have slept the day away. This won't get me anywhere… I need to get up…

Before I opened my eyes I saw flashes of the dream that had woken me up the night before gasping for air. I quickly opened my eyes not wanting to see anymore of those memories. Why is it so hard to forget the things you don't want to remember…?

I sighed, feeling all alone at that moment, I willed myself to sit up in bed even though it was very difficult with how weak I felt, and then slowly slid out off the bed. On wobbly legs I made my way to the door deciding to go look for Usagi-san. I found a sweater lying on the chair that was next to the bed and decided to wear it.

It looked like one of Usagi's but I didn't think that he would mind. It was really cold and I don't feel like I could make it all the way to my room to grab another one so I just throw it on. It was really big and the sleeves were too long, I decided that it was better that way seeing as my fingers were freezing.

It smells like Usagi-san…

I basked in his sent beforeI took one step after another with difficulty until I finally reached the door and leaned heavily on it to rest for a second before I opened it and stepped out. To my relief I didn't have to look for Usagi-san for long, I spotted him sitting in the living room downstairs. I carefully made my way down the steps leaning on the cold metal rails.

Usagi having his back to me didn't notice me walking down to him. When I finally reached the living room I was already breathing heavily from the exhaustion of all the effort it took me to walk down those steps. Why do I feel so exhausted and yet I'm still so cold…

Taking a few deep breaths to steady myself I walked to the couch where Usagi-san sat and I sat next him. He seemed so engulfed in what he was typing in his computer and still didn't know that I was beside him, or at least I thought so…

I pulled my legs up to my chest and looked at the screen that was resting on his lap. It looked like he was working so I just sat there for a moment. I was still feeling cold and my head felt heavy so I let it drop on Usagi's right shoulder. I could feel the warmth radiate through his body and warm up my freezing one, the feeling of loneliness disappearing at that instant.

As soon as my head touched his shoulder I felt it tensed for a second and the typing sounds stop. So he really didn't realize that I was here…

Usagi's POV

I sighed knowing that the work would take a while but once I started I was resolute to finish it. I hadn't noticed how much time had passed until I felt something leaning on my shoulder. I was startled for a second but then looked to my right and saw Misaki wearing one of my sweaters that he looked lost in.

"Misaki…?" when did he…? "What are you doing here? You should be in bed resting…" his head was resting on my shoulder and he only hummed in response to my question. His face still looked flushed and I felt worried. I glanced at the time on the side of the screen. It's already this late…? I didn't even notice… four hours huh…