Despair of the heart

Chapter 17 - Accepted

CHAPTER 17: ACCEPTED

Usagi's POV

The room was still dark; the only source of light comes from the bedside lamp. Misaki's blurry eyes opened again and he looked up at Nowaki hovering over his laid form.

When he saw Misaki was up again he asked him to open his mouth so that he could use the thermometer to get his temperature. Nowaki wore the stethoscope that he had pulled out of the bag earlier and placed the other end of it on Misaki's chest while his temperature was being measured and said "Misaki-kun please take a deep breath"

My eyes didn't leave his face for a second as he struggled to do what Nowaki had asked. I felt Hiroki grab my arm and tugged at it. I couldn't tear my eyes from my suffering Misaki. I wanted to help him but there was nothing I could do right now. I don't want my Misaki to suffer anymore; he's already been through a lot…

Hiroki pulled my arm again and as much as I didn't want to I turned to him. He gestured with his head to the door and I shook my head. I didn't want to leave Misaki when he was like this. "Come on Akihiko, there is nothing that we could do here. Let Nowaki work in peace, let's get some coffee" a scowl covered his face but I could also see concern in there, an emotion Hiroki rarely expressed.

I closed my eyes for a moment and then opened it again and with one last glance at Misaki I walked out of the room followed by Hiroki. I went directly to the coffee mechanic in the kitchen and pressed the ON button. I stood there facing the coffee maker leaning on the counter.

"I see what you meant about the hospital not being an option; he seemed frightened by the whole thing"

"Yeah…"

"Knowing Nowaki he will insist on coming over tomorrow to check on his patient…" he paused for a second then said "He is really broken up about his brother's death. Isn't he?"

"All he's ever known in his life was his brother, and now that he is gone he doesn't know what to do. There isn't much I could do to help him either, it's really frustrating"

"You're worried about him"

"Of course I am, I…"

"…Love him?"

I turned around after I had poured the coffee into two mugs and handed him one while saying "I can't imagine living without him…"

"How are you doing with everything that happened?" Ignoring his question I moved to the couch. I don't want to talk about my feelings right now, Takahiro and I were close friends and losing him is something that I wouldn't have thought of happening at least not in such a violent way. "Akihiko I remember how close you two were and the fact that you were in love with him …"

"It's all in the past now. He was a great person and even a better friend… the feelings I had were more of a crush than anything, but ever since I meet Misaki I realized what 'love'truly meant…" Hiroki sat on the couch opposite where I sat while I speak, his curious gaze set on me.

The sound of the rain starting to pour again, it caught my attention so I turned to the window "When will this damn season end? I wish that the rain would just st-" I paused for a second as the flash of lightning that illuminated the night sky reminded me of what happened that night when thunder struck right after the bright light. "Shit…"

Slamming the mug onto the coffee table and spilling almost half of what was in it around it, I quickly got up and rushed upstairs. "What's wrong?" I heard worry in Hiroki's voice but my thoughts were on Misaki at the moment as lightning had once more struck as I opened the bedroom door.