We're Not Fri...en...emies (Prinxiety)

Thomas Keepers

Thomas had been sitting on the couch, staring at the blank document on his screen for at least half an hour before he decided enough was enough.

"Creativity! Anxiety!" Thomas shouted. They both popped up in their usual spots.

"What? Is there something the matter, Thomas?" Prince asked while Anxiety got his bearings.

"Yes. Something is definitely the matter. I have a speech to prepare that's due in like twenty hours and I haven't written a word of it! And having a deadline is giving me zero motivation." He looked between them. "Clearly, neither of you are doing your jobs!"

Anxiety grunted. "Ah, yes," Prince said. "The speech." He cleared his throat. "Well, you see, I was working on that. I tossed around a couple ideas with one of the other sides, but Logic just refused to acknowledge hot air balloons and a chocolate waterfall as a 'realistic'--"

"Hot air balloons? What?" Thomas shook his head. "All I asked for was help writing this speech."

"I know!" Prince said. "But I thought it would add some much-needed pizazz to an otherwise boring announcement."

"Pizazz? I'm introducing another person, it's not even really my speech!"

Anxiety coughed, possibly covering up a snort.

"Well, I'm sorry, but--"

Thomas cut him off. "And even if it's one hundred percent devoid of any creativity whatsoever," He turned to Anxiety. "Why am I not feeling the deadline here?"

Anxiety's face scrunched up. "Huh."

"Huh? What does that mean?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah, Anxiety, this is perhaps the one time we could actually use a contribution from you," Prince said, rolling his eyes.

"Hey, don't put this all on him. It's mainly your job to--"

"I know, but--"

Their argument was cut off by the sudden sound of retching.

"Oh dear--just--wow. That is disgusting." Prince scrunched up his face and looked away.

"Anxiety--what? What's the matter?"

Anxiety was on his hands and knees now, vomiting all over the staircase. After most of the contents of his stomach had been removed, he continued to heave every few seconds while his body spasmed and strained to hold him up.

"Jeez, are you okay?" Thomas asked.

"It's probably just a side effect of his disgusting food choices," Prince said, his top lip curling in what was either disgust or contempt.

"Food choices? What do you mean?"

"Well," Prince said. "I saw him a bit earlier grabbing some rather questionable items from the fridge. I honestly didn't think he would actually ingest them, though."

Anxiety's face was splotchy red, either from all the vomiting or pure embarrassment, Thomas wasn't sure. But he wiped his mouth on his sleeve and rose shakily to his knees. "You... you finish that speech," he said between pants. "Or else... Or else. Yeah. I'ma just...go."

"Anxiety--" Thomas started, but he was already sinking down, taking the spewed contents of his stomach with him.

"Good riddance," Prince said.

"Hey, that's not very nice. He's obviously not feeling well." Thomas frowned at him.

"Well, it's not like he could hear me!" Prince threw up his hands in defense.

"So? He still has feelings."

Prince crossed his arms. "Mmm, does he though?"

"Princey! Of course he does."

"I'm just saying--"

"Well, maybe you should stop!"

Prince took a step back. "Alright. Sorry."

"Don't apologize to me, apologize to Anxiety." It wasn't often Thomas had to adopt such a serious expression.

"But he's not even here!" Prince put his hands on his hips.

"I don't care! Go do it."

"But--but he'll--You know how he is."

"Yes, I do know how he is. But this isn't even about him anymore, it's about you swallowing your pride and focusing on someone else for a change!" Thomas took a deep breath to steady himself. "So go and say you're sorry. I don't want you back here until you two have properly made up and he's forgiven you."

Prince opened his mouth and then closed it again several times. "What? Now he has to forgive me too? There's no way that's going to happen!"

Thomas crossed his arms. "Well then I suggest you use your creative talents to come up with a way to make that happen."

"But your speech--"

"Can happen with or without you. You weren't helping before and you're not helping now. Earn his forgiveness and then we'll see."

Prince's eyes were wide and incredulous as he met Thomas's hard gaze. He exhaled slow and loud through his nose and clenched his jaw. "Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "But we're all going to suffer for this. Just watch and see what he does."

Thomas shook his head sadly. "I'm not sure it's Anxiety who's making us suffer, Princey."

Prince frowned then, concern etched onto his features now. "Thomas, surely you don't think it's you who are causing a problem here...?"

Thomas blinked at him. "No," he said, squinting at him. "I don't."

"Ah, good," Prince said and began to sink down. "Then I shall be in the mind space, strategizing for my impossible quest!"

"Great," Thomas said. It's just an apology, he thought. What's there to strategize?

He let out a heavy sigh and sunk back onto the couch, putting his head in his hands. Maybe he had been too harsh with Princey. But no--he had to remind himself that it was his own ego as well that he was trying to calm down.

He picked up his computer and moved it to his lap. There wasn't much more humbling than giving a speech about someone else's talents. Or acknowledging his inability to write one. It looked like it would be another long night ahead.

He lasted maybe ten more minutes before he gave up and started rewatching Parks and Recreation.

A/N: Hello! Wow. Five chapters in and I haven't even greeted my readers yet! (Yes, we can all see there are about 4 of you.) I wrote the first four chapters all in rapid succession and published them all the same day, so I was just really focused on the story. ANYWAY, sorry if it started out a bit slow. It might be more interesting now or get there. I probably should have said that in chapter one, but... Thank you if you made it this far anyway! It turns out this is what I do when I'm procrastinating on something else, and I have a lot of other things to do, so it's looking like I'll probably finish this story pretty quickly. Haha. Until the next chapter!