Chapter 56

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Charlotte

When Luca and I met, I should have known we wouldn't last. We were too different. From very different worlds, led very different lives. But I let myself get comfortable. I let myself fall in love and dream and make plans with him. For a little while, I let myself pretend that it could work. Pretending was nice for a while, but it made the crash and burn all the much harder.

I couldn't stay with Luca. And that killed me.

I couldn't be the person he wanted. I couldn't fit into the mold of perfect little Mafia wife. I couldn't sacrifice my life and my sanity no matter how much I loved him. There was no room for compromise or negotiation—it was all or nothing with Luca. He couldn't leave, and I understood that. This was his life and his responsibility, but it wasn't mine. I loved Luca more than I could even admit, but the more I thought about it, I loved an idea of him. A version I created in my mind that wasn't bound by the same constraints Luca was. One who could give me a life and family I always dreamed of. One who wouldn't have to lie to me no matter who forced him to. One who could put me first, and not make me stand in line behind the Mafia.

The worst part was that I understood. I didn't blame him anymore—he was making the best of a terrible situation. I understood that he was under order, that this was his life, that this was how things worked. But it didn't stop it from hurting any less.

As suffocating as a life without Luca seemed, it was what I had to do, and it was better to do it now before we dragged it out any longer.

After Luca left, I felt even more dejected than before, if that was possible. I listened to what he had to say, I got some of the answers I was looking for, but it hadn't brought me the relief I was expecting. I spent most of the afternoon sleeping and had just woken up. It was nearly 9AM the next day.

"Charlotte?" My mom knocked gently as she opened the door. "Are you okay, honey?"

I bit my lip, trying to fight back my tears. I had already felt sorry for myself for too long. It was time to move forward. To put a stop to all of this.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "I'm not sure I'll ever be completely okay again."

She sat down next to me. "Charlotte, this doesn't change anything, you know? This has always been a part of you, and knowing about it doesn't have to change anything."


"It changes everything, mom." I let out a sharp laugh. "Some crazed assassin is after me because he was framed for my death, which obviously never happened. My boyfriend is under my father's control, and will never be able to be honest with me. My mother has been lying to me my entire life, hiding the fact that my father and brothers are still alive. And oh, also, my father runs the Italian Mafia and is a raging asshole."

"Charlotte, you have every right to feel the way I do, but please do not ever mistake the fact that everyone you just mentioned did what they did because they love you. Even Antonio, in his own twisted way. You have a lot of people in your corner who were only trying to protect you by keeping you out of it all."

"Which should have been my choice." I stood up abruptly. I wasn't getting anywhere here. "I need to leave, mom."

"Leave?" She arched her eyebrow at me. "Are you going back to Luca's..."

I shook my head. "No. I'm breaking up with him. But I just... I need to be alone for a while. I can't stay here."

My mom was quiet, but then she nodded. "I understand. But I think you're making a mistake."

"Then it's my mistake to make this time. Not yours, or Luca's, or anyone's. It'll be my choice, like It should have been from the beginning." I pressed my lips together. Was she really going to try to tell me how to feel in this situation? She'd been making decisions for me for far too long.

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