In The End

Episode Eleven - Borrowed Time

"Uh, coffee." I mumbled sitting up, twisting my body awkwardly for fast execution. "I'll make coffee."

Sebastian cleared his throat before he too sat up, although he sat as far away from me as the couch would allow. "I'll just use your bathroom." He replied. His voice croaky.

He pushed himself off the couch and walked quickly through the lounge, leaving me feeling dumbfounded. I wasn't sure when we'd fallen asleep but we had, and in doing so we'd crossed lines I knew neither one of us would be comfortable crossing. Despite my old, now new again feelings for my best friend... he was in a relationship and it wasn't with me. We'd allowed ourselves to get to close, and it had to stop.

I walked into the kitchen and robotically made coffee. I was just finishing up when Sebastian walked back downstairs. I slid his coffee across the benchtop before picking up my own. He picked up the cup and lifted it to his mouth, and like the voyeur I was when it came to him, I couldn't look away. Finally I closed my eyes, taking advantage of the one way I knew how to break contact.

"I'm sorry." I exclaimed, with my eyes still closed. "Maybe me coming to New York isn't a good idea after all."

I opened my eyes only to be met with Sebastian confused and unhappy face. His frown was deep, he shook his head and put his drink down on the bench.

"Because we were exhausted and fell asleep?" He replied.

"Next to one another." I added.

"And? Nothing happened." he shrugged.

I looked down, finally able to break eye contact. As always it seemed I was alone in my confused feelings. Sebastian shared none of them.

"Okay, well forget I said anything."

"You'll still come and stay?" He questioned.

I sucked in a breath and forced myself to stay composed. "Yes."

"Good." Sebastian drained the remainder of his coffee and place the cup down. "I should get back. Mom wanted me to help out with the setup of Dad's birthday. You're coming right?"

I nodded. Anne had invited me before I'd ever known Sebastian would be back. They had been in my life since in I was little. Anne and Ted were almost like a second set of parents to me.

"I'll pick you up at seven then?" He said softly.

"Sounds good." I replied.

"Okay, well see you then." He exclaimed. "Maybe you could pack?"

I nodded and sipped on my coffee. "Maybe."

Sebastian shot me his trademark smile before turning and walking out of the house. I frowned and leaned against the benchtop. I had to keep my feelings in check, Sebastian wasn't mine then, and he most certainly wasn't mine now.

I gathered the two cups and placed them in the dishwasher before heading upstairs to my room. It was with reluctance that I opened my closet and pulled out my suitcase. The dark green luggage looked almost new, with the exception of the thin layer of dust it had acquired after sitting hidden away for so long. I wrapped my fingers around the handle and closed my eyes. Dad had given me the suitcase the summer before he'd died. "For college." He'd insisted. He'd spouted off some long winded story about how he'd been given his first piece of luggage for college in high school as a motivator for the future journey to come. I wished I'd listened better, I'd taken him for granted.

I lifted the case onto the bed and unzipped the opening. I flipped it opened as I stood up to gather clothes, but before I could get too far, something caught my eye.