In The End

Episode Four - The happiness

"I'm Fine. I need to get back to work." I whispered, wanting to avoid his gaze. I was somehow locked into it. Unable to look away.

"Just wait. Talk with me... Like you used to." He exclaimed.

"I don't know how anymore." I replied.

His eyes dulled and he looked down. "You used to tell me everything." He mumbled.

"You used to tell me everything too." I reminded him.

He nodded and looked up a smile crossed his face and pointed to the crates across the alleyway. "Let's sit then."

I sighed as he walked toward the crates and sat down. He'd never been one to give up so I gave in and followed him. I sat on the crate and leaned against the concrete wall of the mechanics.

"My boss just called. She wants me to find new talent while I'm down here. I kind of gave her the impression that this place is swimming with undiscovered writers so I could take a holiday. Truth is, I just really needed the break."

"A break from work?" I exclaimed.

"That and other things." He murmured. "I was supposed to come here alone, but Julianne surprised me last minute."

She seemed like the pushy type. I felt bad for Sebastian. I had no experience with relationships though, so I had nothing to offer him in the way of advice.

"So this was meant to be a rehabilitory trip?" I asked

"Of sorts." He replied. "I wanted to figure a few things out."

I smiled and kicked a stone. "Any revelations so far?"

"Only that I miss this place a whole lot. The nostalgia alone makes my heart feel full. But seeing my best friend again, seeing how broken she is... It kills."

"I'm sorry I'm a down buzz on your holiday." I murmured. "I'm really okay. I promise. A little woe is me, but on the whole okay." I offered, of course I was lying through my teeth, and I wondered if he could tell. He had always been able to see through my bravado.

"You're not a down buzz Em." Seb exclaimed. "You've been through a lot. Had to give up a lot... and it isn't fair."

I shook my head and turned to look at Seb, whose eyes were lined with tears. His emotion surprised me, but comforted me as well. Someone could see me, the real me. Not the me I pretended to be.

"It isn't, but it's the way it is. I really better get back to work. Thanks for the talk." I stood up and brushed my uniform off. "I have a friend who's a writer by the way. I could see if she wants to give you some chapters to glaze over?"

Seb's eyes lit up and smiled and nodded. "That would be amazing."

"Okay. I'll ask."

I walked away, mentally kicking myself for mentioning the part about the friend being a writer. The only writer I knew was me, and I wasn't sure I wanted to be giving my work over to the person who had once been my partner in crime, the person who perhaps served as the biggest muse for my stories' hero. But I wanted to help, and this was the only way I knew I could.

It was four before I finished work. I drove home, mentally and physically exhausted. I'd stopped on the way to pick up bread and milk with the tips I'd made for the day.

To my surprise Mom was in the living room watching tv under a blanket, zoned out but seemingly sober. I left her there and went upstairs to work on my book.

I had promised Sebastian chapters, and chapters he was going to get. I glanced over my work. Editing it until my eyes burned from tiredness. I forced myself off the computer near midnight, not quite happy with my progress, but aware that I had work in the morning. I shut my computer down, changed into pajamas and then fell into bed.