In The End

Episode Six - Hoping For Direction

She was cold to the touch, but even in the dark I could still make out the slight rise and fall of her chest. She was breathing... just. It was like a replay of the other night, only worse.

"Em..." Seb's voice was a mere whisper behind me as he walked in after me. "Shit."

"Mom." I cried out. "Please... mom." She didn't respond. Sebastian knelt down beside her and pulled his phone from his jeans pocket. Her arm caught my eye. At first I'd thought the red liquid surrounding her arm had been wine, but it wasn't. She'd hurt herself... it was blood. I gazed up at Seb, hoping for direction because I was lost.

"Kathy, I'm calling an ambulance. Stay with us okay." He murmured before looking up at me. "Em, you need to get something for the cut. A towel.. anything."

I nodded, I didn't want to leave Mom like that, lying on the floor helpless and hurt. She'd already lost a lot of blood though, and I knew I needed to stop it somehow. I couldn't lose my Mom too.

I swallowed back my emotion and forced myself to run on autopilot because it was the only way I was going to make it through this without falling apart. I grabbed a towel from the linen cupboard and ran back to Mom. Seb was still on the phone when I got back so I wrapped the towel around her bloodied arm and applied pressure to the cut.

I watched her, waiting for her to groan or do something... But she didn't.

"Mom. Please" I sobbed. "I can't lose you too."

It felt like hours before the ambulance arrived, although in reality I knew it had only been minutes. They rushed in, led by Sebastian and quickly ushered me backward... away from her.

I watched as they hooked her up to machines, hoping the fuss would wake her, but it didn't. Sometime later, the paramedic spoke to Sebastian and I, but I wasn't listening. Mom was on a stretcher, covered by a silver foil blanket, her skin was pale white and her closed eyes were sunken in and hollow. This couldn't be how it ended.

I tried to fight the tears of my own misery as guilt surged through me... I had decided to go to the carnival with Seb. I had left her here alone. This was my fault.

As they began to wheel away the stretcher, I reached out for my mother, but Seb pulled me back, his hands rest against my shoulders and he pulled me into his chest.

"I'll take you." He whispered. "The paramedic said they need to focus on your Mom."

I nodded and followed behind him as he left my house. Anne and Ted were out by Sebastian's car when we got there, watching in shock as the ambulance carrying my mother sped off lights and all down the usually quiet road.

"I'm taking Em to the hospital to meet the ambulance there." Seb explained.

Anne didn't say anything in response, she just walked around to where I stood and pulled me into her arms. She didn't say anything, but she didn't have to.

I sat down in the passenger's seat of Seb's car for the second time that day. Only this time there was no happiness, no laughter. Just an amalgamation of worry, guilt and heartbreak.

The drive to the hospital was silent, but the sound of the night air sneaking in through the slightly open window behind me filtered enough white noise into the car to calm me. My tears dried for a while and I closed my eyes.

Then the car stopped, reality came crashing back down. Mom could be dying... because of me.

Seb helped me out of the car and we ran through the hospital carpark and into the emergency room. The nurse advised us she had been taken immediately to theatre because of the gash. She couldn't tell me much more. We were led to a family room, away from everyone else.