Bound by Law

Bound by Law || 19- Complicated Relationships

'Whatever it is, I just want to let you know that I'm always here to listen, alright?'

Biting my lip, I contemplated on what to do. I really didn't want to talk about my personal life, but he was so kind and trustable that I just wanted to share.

I just needed a friend.

So, I texted him back.

'No, don't apologize! It's just complicated and I was brought up to not share anything personal with others, that's all."

A couple of minutes later, I got a reply.

'That's understandable :) but if anything is going on, anything at all, don't hesitate to call me, okay?'

I smiled at his caring nature and thanked him with a smiley face. I put my phone away to continue watching Dr Phil silently. Sighing, I pouted at the screen as I watched him talk to the ladies.

I miss watching all those Indian movies and shows with my cousins.

It was something that we always did in the afternoons; we sat together and ate ice cream and played games through the night.

Suddenly going from a big family and having a hectic life, to a quiet and peaceful life here, was completely disheartening. It made me feel empty and as if something was missing.

After what felt like an hour—which it probably was—Jai descended the stairs and I shook my head, shaking away the depressing thoughts and turned off the TV.

I went to open my mouth and ask him if he was okay but the look on his face stopped me—it was twisted into an expression that seemed to show both pain and blazing fury. His phone was clenched tightly in his hand and he looked as though he would break it at any second.

He glanced at me and said icily, "I'll be back."

Nodding, I watched as he slammed the door. I only got up from my seat on the couch when I heard the engine of the car start and fade away.

I walked up the stairs, relieved but I was also a little hurt that he only showed his kind and gentle side for a few minutes last night.

Maybe I shouldn't have believed he had changed so quick?

But, clearly something had happened. That phone call must have had something to do with it but at the same time, I knew it wasn't any of my business.

If it was, he'd tell me. Shaking my head from any petty thoughts, I rushed up and into the bathroom to shower.

Showering was one of the things I hated most in life. Seeing myself naked and looking in the mirror disgusted me.

It made me feel so ashamed just to be in my own body. It was a private time for me but it was a horrible feeling.

I felt lonely.

I felt violated.

Even though it had been years, the shower and the room was trigger for it all.

I sunk to floor of the bathroom as the water ran over my head and my body. My hands trembled as I scratched at my skin on my arms, my legs—everything to get rid of the layer of disgusting filth from that night that never wanted to leave my body.