For we once so loved the world by HowlingDarkness95

Chapter 30

The car was as silent as a grave, the two occupants turning their own thoughts in their head as the scenery blurred past them. Tony took the wheel, not letting up on the pedal as he sped across the state to reach his friend. When they left, Tony had been deciding between the Acura or the Ferrari, and decided to go with the former instead of the latter for its speed and dark color. Steve sat in the passenger seat, Tony's Iron Man suit in his lap. Much like his Mark II, this one collapsed in form as well, making it easier for him to carry around. He didn't want a repeat of the Helicarrier incident where he had to run to where his suit was kept in order to put it on.

Tony combined the Mark VII and the Mark II together, his hands sporting the bracelets that allowed the suit to track him and align to his body while remaining in its compact form when he wasn't using it. For now, the Acura was a two-seater, so he had Steve hold on to the suit, with the Captain's own shield on his lap as well while he drove. For once, the speed that he was going at garnered no complaints from his passenger. Slightly worried at the silence coming from the other man, Tony risked a glance at his team leader, carefully keeping an eye on the road as well. He nearly swerved off the road when Steve spoke up.

"Keep your eyes on the road Tony."

Tony huffed and grumbled, a hand on the wheel, "This is what I get for being concerned." He eyed Steve again, who was leaning against the window, gazing at nothing in particular. "Hey Cap," he said, making Steve turn to him, "Something wrong?"

Steve made to shake his head, but stopped mid motion. He hesitated for a moment, while Tony pretended not to notice his hesitation, giving him time to collect his thoughts. "Do you think I've made the right choices?" Steve asked quietly.

Tony hummed in response, tapping his fingers lightly on the steering wheel. "I don't know if what you've made were the right choices per se, but what I do know is that we all trust you in your decisions."

Steve sighed, frustrated, "Why? What gives me the right to make the decisions? What gives me the right to leave people behind to die to save ourselves? How can I say that this person deserves to live and be saved and this person doesn't deserve to?"

Tony bit his lip, "The thing is Cap, you can't save everyone." He said, smiling bitterly, an encouraging voice and flashes of blood brought forth in his mind, "I know that from experience. You're not deeming anyone worthy of living or not, you're just trying to save the people you can."

"But if that means sacrificing others? What then? I don't have the right to decide who lives and dies, who gets rescued and who doesn't."

"What brought this on Steve? You've never shown any doubts before, why start now?"

Steve leaned his head back, closing his eyes, "I failed as the team leader. I sent you and Thor to Afghanistan first, which almost got you killed and it got Thor under their control. Loki was right, without him, all of us would be dead, killed by two mindless chitauri impersonating as our pilots. I sent Percy on a suicide mission with the one person we cannot trust, I practically gave him to our enemies on a silver platter, and now he's dead and the chitauri are back on Earth. I left Bruce in the midst of the enemy because we had to run away. I left the millions of people in New York behind because we weren't strong enough to fight back!" Steve shouted, gripping his head as he breathed heavily, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Look Cap," Tony started, "We both know that I suck at this moral and ethics thingy that you saints have," he counted it as a win when Steve cracked a smile, and continued, "but even I know that everything that happened wasn't your fault. If anything, it was all of ours. We weren't paying attention, we became complacent, and the enemy took advantage of our distractions. Percy – Percy's death wasn't your fault." Tony sighed, feeling the guilt that accompanied the thought of the kid's death, "He knew what he was going in to, he knew that it was dangerous. We just didn't figure out that the trap was meant for him alone. The chitauri and Amora knew how to trap him, you didn't know, so it isn't your fault. And Bruce?" Tony snorted, "I'm pretty sure the big guy would smack you for even thinking like that."