I Thought It Was Over

Chapter 11 - Feeling, Concealing, Swimming and Biting

Chapter 11 – Feeling, Concealing, Swimming and Biting

Becky’s POV again:

Harry disappeared and I went to the shops.

I stocked up on chocolate, flavoured milk, chocolate covered coffee beans, Coca Cola, crisps and of course lollipops.

Loading the bags into the car, I barely noticed the cars honking at me because I was in their way. I was so deep in concentration, in wondering why on earth I had let my feelings get the better of me, why I had gotten myself into this mess.

Feelings had been my downfall: feelings of love for my sister and friend made me drag them along on this terrible trip; feelings of love and trust for Leo started the whole catastrophe; feelings of love for my parents got Kat killed; feelings of tiredness left me without my flamethrower; feelings of anger made me nearly murder my sister; feelings of guilt, frustration and just plain fury had made me regret things at some point or other; feelings of reckless and stupid comfort and safety made me let my guard down, and caused that episode in the mall; feelings of irritation and hatred and jealousy made Angel hate me; and feelings of lust destroyed Angel’s relationship and made her leave.

Yep, it was all because of feelings.

Stupid human. Why can’t I be a robot?

Pulling out of the parking lot, I switched the radio on.

“We’ll be right back; this is Demi Lovato with her new song, Let it go,” the cheesy radio man said.

A song came on, and I listened to the lyrics.

Let it go, let it go, Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go, Turn my back and slam the door

The snow glows white on the mountain tonight, Not a footprint to be seen.

A kingdom of isolation and it looks like I'm the queen.

The wind is howling like the swirling storm inside. Couldn't keep it in, heaven knows I tried.

Don't let them in, don't let them see, Be the good girl you always had to be.

Conceal, don't feel, don't let them know. Well now they know.

Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go Turn my back and slam the door

And here I stand and here I'll stay, Let it go, let it go

The cold never bothered me anyway

It's funny how some distance makes everything seem small

And the fears that once controlled me can't get to me at all.

Up here in the cold thin air I finally can breathe.

I know I left a life behind but I'm too relieved to grieve.

Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore Let it go, let it go

Turn my back and slam the door And here I stand, and here I'll stay

Let it go, let it go The cold never bothered me anyway

Standing frozen In the life I've chosen.

You won't find me. The past is all behind me, Buried in the snow.

Let it go, let it go Can't hold it back anymore

Let it go, let it go Turn my back and slam the door