Direction-Infection: A love story.

Define love

-Jenny's point of view-

I got home.

The show and dinner was awesome, it was the best feeling ever. Well, next to being loved by Liam. Nothing feels better than being inlove with him, I can't wait to see him.

"..Babe?" I entered the door looking for him.

"Hey," Liam said with a low, stern voice.

"SO sorry I'm late, the dinner reservations got a little screwed and so did we and ..."

"We need to talk" He cut me off.

I looked at him, he was serious. Too serious. I had a feeling, a bad one.

"Ah, sure." I sat, thinking : "What is this now? what could this be?"

"Oh God, how am I gonna put this?" I heard him curse under his breath.

He stood there, pacing back and forth with his hands behind his head, I can feel that he's uncomfortable, I can feel that this is really something bad.

He sat infront of me, he bobbed his head to look at me. His eyes were wet with tears.

Imagine Liam Payne looking at you with those blood shut, wet with tears eyes. My chest tightened after every blink. I was feeling a nodge in my chest, I can't look at him like this. I felt a rush in my cheeks, I was turning red.

"Tell me, what is it?!" I shouted.

"If I tell you, I wouldn't be able to un-say it. Jen, you know that I love you right?"

"I know, and you do know that I am inlove with you?" He nodded after I asked.

We sat there in silence.

"Liam," I held his hand, it was cold. "I, love you. So much."

He stood and shouted:

"THAT'S THE THING JEN! Love!"

I can't understand him, I don't understand what he's saying.

"What?!"

"Love Jenny, tell me what love is. Tell me, what pops into your head. What do you think everytime you hear 'love," After he said that all I can think about was him.

His eyes, His hair, His lips, His nose, that little birthmark in his neck. Everything.

I didn't realize that I blanked out thinking about him becuase he just stood there ...

With a tear falling down from his left eye. I held a hand to wipe it but he grabbed my hand gently and put it back to me.

"I can't ... I can't do this." He said. My chest tightened so hard that it was a marathon just in breathing, I tried to swallow but I think my body shut down. Did I hear him right?

"Liam," I muttered.

"We .. we need to take a break, Jen. I can't do this anymore. I can't be in a relationship where ... I am not needed." Instantly I shouted:

"I need you Liam! You might not see it with all the make up I wear, with my thick skin  but .... I need you. Please Liam,"

I tried to hold onto him.

He kissed me, I kissed him back. I gripped on his shirt like I was falling and he's the only thing I can hold on to not fully fall.

"I love you, I am sorry." He whispered as he ran for the door.

The moment his lips got parted from mine, I fell to the ground. Gripping onto the floor.

My heart screamed pain, my eyes went black I can't see anything. He was purely my light. He was the reason why I go on and now he's gone. You know the feeling, whether being left by your dad in the morning because he has to leave for work, or being told that you're ugly, stupid, idiotic, USELESS and not as important as shit in this world. Yes, you can put on a strong face but at some point you're going to break, because there are things that is considered too much. When my father died, I thought that I wouldn't feel anything worser than that but now I know I was wrong because, right now, this is the worst feeling anyone could ever feel. Worse that chemo, worse that having a tooth pulled out without any anestisia, worse than getting shot and for boys, worse than getting kit in the knockers with a baseballbat.

I heard my phone ring continuosly. I didn't move. I was laying in the floor like Izzy from greys anatomy when Danny died, she was just in the floor stunned and broken all at the same time. I was just like her. Can't breathe properly, looking at the wall like it's a way to heaven. A way out of this pain. God, pain, why does pain has to sound like payne. Liam ....

I don't know how long it had been, but I started to see light in the wall, I thought : "Good God, take me away from pain and from payne." But no It was just the morning like screetching through my windows. The light hurt my eyes, but I can't close them because I'll remember him.

I think I'm used to the ringing tone of my phone because, it's just like hair in my ears now. Plain, useless. I think it's already noon. I've been laying here in the floor for 10 hours. I feel so numb, so broken. Why am I feeling this?

Hours later, I heard a knock on my door. I thought it was Liam so I sat up and looked if it was Liam but no, I heard a girl say:

"Jenny? Jen! Open the door! Jen are you alive?! Are you breathing?! Open this door!" The girls were there also, I heard some chewing, it must Casey.

"The door's not locked!" Sam said opening the door.

"Oh," Gabby whispered and I saw light enter from the space the door gave.

"Oh baby," Alex went first towards me, they all sat beside my laying, white, numb, broken body but Gabby did something else she layed beside me and her face was infront of mine, I looked away but she kept on following my gaze.

I shivered when Sam rubbed my side. As if to comfort me.

Like, a little rubbing would take the .......... pain away.

I liked what Gabby did, she was the bestfriend i ever had. Among the girls, you might think that we wouldn't get along, but no. Actually we get along more than pencil gets along with paper.

"Are you .... this might sound stupid but, are you okay?" Gabby said.

"No," My throat was so dry, my eyes were so stingy, my skin's so numb.

"We heeard from the boys that you and Liam ...." Casey didn't continue what she was supposed to say.

"Why didn't you call us?" Alex butted in.

I didn't speak. I don't need words to tell them why, I was ashamed of it, I was ashamed of being dumped. And dumped by Liam Payne.

They tried to feed me some food.

"Just eat this, or else, I will." Casey said, shoving me some spoonful of soup.

I just looked at the wall and nothing else.

"You need to stand up! GODDAMMIT! Jennifer can you please, for the love of God stand up! Eat some stupid food and just live your life!" Sam shouted.

I felt being bitchy. Cause, how would they know?!

"I can't stand up because I'll see him or I'll think of him everytime I'll look at the sink, I can't eat because I'll remember the first time he cooked for me, our first dine out, everytime we eat, I'll remember it, and I can't live my life because he's gone, my LIFE is gone! He IS my life, so do not tell me what to do, when you don't know how it feels to have your life taken from you. Don't you dare!"

The girls looked at me. Like, Shit, girl you're broken!

It was kinda funny, I have to admit, cause after looking at me like I'm gone crazy, well maybe I might am but they all moved in fast motions like in Men in Black, one grabbed the food, one started the car, one opened the doors and got something from my room, one pulled me up and all of them pushed me into the car. Casey pulled out my prada shades and placed it on me.

I still didn't want to talk but what the fuck are they doing? One minute, I was laying in the floor hardly breathing now. I'm on a car to nowhere.

I turned my head effortless like a drug mule towards Casey.

"Where going somewhere you're gonna feel better." She saiid. I highly doubt that.

I can't feel anything. My eyes are swollen, my body's numb. I don't think I'm gonna feel any better.

This is shit.