too much time.

a letter to my love

my love,

it is often difficult to portray what I feel for you
i love you is not enough
others make it insignificant
it's said too much when we do not
mean truly
but when i whisper it to you as we lay
in each other's arms
you know
i hand you my heart.

we are young now, barely adults at sixteen
who knows what will happen in the future
we are too young to know
too inexperienced in this world
my interests and hopeful future professions
change daily
the picture changes.

the only thing i can be certain i want
is you
i think of what my life will be when i grow
older
you are right next to me
no matter what i dream i will be
i am always with you
and i never want that to stray.

my thoughts
are constantly consumed by you
all the time
bringing life to my mind
smiles and sun and flowers
kind thoughts of
holding you and
kissing you softly
these make my whole day
you make my whole day.

when i see you
anytime
i can't help but beam as
i am engulfed by butterflies
and your love
you speak and i marvel at the sound
and i think
how can one human hold so much perfection
i do not believe in any god but
what else could create this inhumane beauty but the gods themselves.

even better
this beauty
this lovely boy
is mine as i am his
our hearts intertwine as one
where we always are.

this beautiful boy
with unforgettable eyes
and freckles like constellations
with such soft skin
and the sweetest laughter
who is adorable and charming but handsome and alluring
who feels so comfortable wrapped in my arms
so right
it feels so surreal
you here with me
a perfect dream
that I wouldn't dream of waking up from.

a thought flickers and
suddenly
horrid thoughts cross me
what if i do not deserve this boy
and what if my love is not returned
i think
and i crumble
what would i be if i could not be with you
lonely star dust
living through motions without really living
i am afraid of loving you too much
of making you let go
you're too good for me
i don't deserve you.

but then
you
you are here

and you say 'i miss you'
and i am back
i fall apart in a different way
a lovely way
and my heart swells
there is no need to worry
i do not have much to give you but my whole heart
i hope you keep it safe and cherish it
it's easily breakable
but i hold all my trust in you.

for you
are my love
and i would not trade you for anything in the entire universe
as i have everything i could ever
need or want
with you
i have you
my love.

(cheesy i know, but happiness is cheesy and I'm not afraid of writing my happiness)