My Own Way

Epilogue

"If you have no more questions we can go see how the baby is doing." The doctor told us.

"Yes!" Blake and I said at the same time, both excited to see how our baby boy was doing.

We walked over to the room with the ultrasound machine, I laid on the table then lifted my shirt so that my whole stomach was showing. I lifted my head to look at my shoes, luckily I could still see most of them. I knew soon enough that the day would come when I would no longer be able to see them, the thought didn't help to ease my mind.

After Dr. Cale put the cold gel on me, she took the wand then placed it on my stomach. The sound I loved more than anything in the world came to my ears. There was no better sound than a heartbeat. I took a deep breath and enjoyed listening to my baby. This made me relax, knowing that my baby was okay in my stomach and that he was still with us.

"Amanda, does he move around a lot?" She asked me.

"Yeah but mostly at night." I answered.

"That's good. Right now he's the length of a carrot, also just to say that his legs are now longer than his arms and so he will be kicking more, more so if you press against your stomach which I'm sure you already know all of this." She said with a smile.

"Yes I remember but it's good to be reminded sometimes because I can forget." I told her.

"Last time you weren't positive on names...have you thought about it some more?" She asked.

"His name is Derrick Joey Sanders." Blake said proudly.

"That is a very lovely name."

"Derrick is for my father and Joey is for a friend of ours who will be his Godfather." I explained.

"I'm sure they are very touched." She said.

"Oh, they don't know yet." Blake said, laughing a bit.

"Well, I'm sure they will be once they find out." She said. "Amanda, everything looks great. Derrick is perfect in size, his heartbeat is strong... Until our next appointment please try and relax. Baby Derrick and you need this, find the time to make that happen okay?" She said, giving me full eye contact.

"Yes I will." I stated. I would do anything and everything for my kids, they were my life and I lived everyday for them. As I looked back, I finally understood my mother and the way she was towards me when we were locked away in Jesse's house. Her protection and love toward me made her do the most scariest things just to keep me safe and I would do the exact same things for my kids. Since I became a mother I could relate to her more, now more than ever.

Blake and I married after Ashley was born, our second child. One day I sat down with Blake and told him that I wanted that piece of paper, also hoping that he felt the same way. His words were, "It's about freaking time woman!" He got me off my chair and wrapped his arms around me. We told our oldest child, Miles, that we were getting married. All he understood or really cared about was that there was going to be a party with a big cake. We named him Miles Angel Sanders, Miles because our road had been long to get us where we were, Angel because he was truly a gift from above. Our daughter, Ashley Lisa Sanders because we loved the name Ashley, Lisa was for my best friend and finally our baby that wasn't here yet, that was just obvious. My children and my husband were my life and everyday was an adventure that I knew I could never live without. My love for them could not be explained in words...well not words that were good enough.

My life wasn't perfect but I had the best people around me. Lisa and her husband Brian had moved away but it was still a drivable distance. Blake and I were the Godparents of their first child. I couldn't believe after all these years that she wasn't sick and tired of me or that I wasn't sick and tired of her. She was the best of friend a girl could ask for and I was forever grateful for everything she had done for me.

After quitting my job at the Dinner, I finally found something that I could be proud of. I found that I had a hidden talent for photography. I took my own pictures and would sale them wherever people would buy them. I liked that I could take pictures of things that made me smile, that made me happy, that reminded me that I was lucky, and to be happy that I was alive. I was surprised by how many people liked my pictures. I was nervous about working freelance but the amount of support from my family was amazing, they gave me the courage I needed to continue and I'm so glad I did.

Blake still loved his job as a mechanic. He missed my father since he no longer worked there. He was retired but would sometimes stop by the shop just to go to lunch with him and some of the guys. I loved the fact that my husband loved his job, also I was a bit jealous at the fact that he knew what he wanted to do, what career he wanted to pursue at a young age, not many people could do or say the same.

.....

Through the years, life had a way of showing us what we didn't want to see, like everything we did was some sort of test. My family and I went through many test, I am positive we will have many more to live through and to survive. People say that it makes us stronger, I believe we just cope, trying to live another day, to survive another test, that everyone knows that their time, here one Earth, will end sooner or later. To keep the best moments in our heads and in our hearts, that it will help us survive another day.

My father's voice, still in my head, I can still hear his words speak the truth when I'm having a really hard time, "Never give up, but if you must, give it the best fight of your life...give it hell and make it sorry for ever messing with you." My father strength is incredible. Still and always so hard headed but I believe that is one of the reason he is still with us, he refuses to give up.

Life is not meant to be perfect and sadly there is no such thing as a happily ever after, life simply isn't made that way. My marriage to the love of my life isn't perfect, even though most people would think otherwise. We have our ups and downs but somehow, our love survives. I could never imagine a life without Blake, I just couldn't see it. As difficult as it could be at times, there was a lot more good than bad in our relationship, that is what mattered. We were good to each other and I knew he still loved me as much as I loved him.

I cannot wait to see what the future holds, how our kids will be, what sort of men and woman will they become. As much as life can be cruel, it has its moments where there is nothing more beautiful and nothing more magnificent...I cherish those moments...

The End

　

****Please Vote & Comment! Thank you!!****

As much as I love writing a new book, there is something so wonderful about writing 'The End'. I guess it's just me being proud that I finished it.

It took a long time for me to complete this book so I really want to thank each and everyone of you for sticking with me and for your patience...your support is something I truly cherish.

I do have future plans, book ideas...but for the moment I'm gonna concentrate on my health and do my very best to get better, that is my number one for now.

And so... Until next time.

xxx