Chapter Thirty-Eight

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SURPRISE! Happy Blake! (Play the song on the side if you can!)

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I rocked forward from heel to toe nervously, looking at the floor.

Heel. Toe. Heel. Toe. Heel. Toe.

I glanced upwards to my Rolex. 10:56. This is it.

What if something went wrong? What if I messed this up? I could not mess this up!

"Jeez, Blake, calm yourself down!" James patted me on the shoulder.

"Yeah, bro, cool it, at this rate you're looking to hyperventilate and die." Caleb added.

"Thanks for that Caleb." I snapped.

"Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed this morni—"

"Just shut up!" I shouted, "I'm thinking."

"Alright, alright!" he backed off, "Just saying, if you get cold feet, just follow your head, I'm more than happy to take her off your hands."

James slapped him around the back of the head, "I don't care whether this is my sister's wedding day or not, I have a gun in my inside pocket, in case that one decides to run, and don't think I won't shoot you between the eyes if you make one more comment."

He has a gun to shoot me if I run away? That's pretty deep. Wait, is that even legal?

I pushed the thought to the back of my brain. Far more important things to deal with, Goldstein.

Caleb shuffled away, "Okay, okay, let's all be civil now."

All possible thoughts were running through my brain. What if I drop the ring? What if I stumble over my words, trip on her dress, forget my vows? What if she realises what a prick I've been these past few months and doesn't turn up all together?

Yes, I acknowledge I have been a first class idiot. When I saw her and Noah in her office, Noah leaning over her, his hands on her waist, his lips inches from hers, I saw red and jumped to a conclusion that nearly lost me the love of my life and our unborn child. I know stupid of me.

Mia, my angel, has been so good to me. She forgave me right away, no questions asked, and we went right back to normal, of course I've had some issues: whether I'm still worthy of her, which I know I'm not, whether she still wants me, whether I can be a good father to Junior - that's what I call him. But Mia has been my rock, my talisman, my everything, through it all, she's always been there to offer guidance or just cuddle on the sofa whilst I mindlessly stroke her hair and tell her about the shitty day I've just had.

She is truly the perfect woman, and after all I've done, I shouldn't be marrying her today, but I am, and boy, am I happy about it.

When I left her, it was like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. I was numb, I couldn't think, couldn't feel, I was so lost. My world had been spun around and around and upside down and I didn't know how to turn it the right way up again. She was the missing piece to the jigsaw that I had desperately been trying to solve. After all, I am getting on. 31 years old. Jeez.

I looked back to see my father sitting in the front row. He gave me a thumbs up and pointed to the empty seat next to him. I frowned in confusion before my eyes went downwards. Sitting on the seat next to him was a picture of my mum in all her beauty, a still, probably over 30 years old. I smiled tightly, throwing Dad a thumbs up back before, turning around.

I rocked from heel to toe again, trying to take my mind off it. 10:59. Crap, she's not turning up, she's left me, I know she has, she's come to her senses and realised she should have turned me down that day on the London Eye and gone to California like she said. I can't believe she almost left and took our baby with her. I probably never would have known she was expecting. I didn't have the right to.

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