The Risk To Love

CH 30: Night Owls & Not So Chaste Kisses

"That's messed up," I whistled lowly. "Yeah," he agreed. "So is my life."

"Yeah but you aren't," I stopped in front of him craning my neck to meet his intense emerald eyes.

"So just out of curiosity, where do you shower and sleep if not there?" I pointed in the direction of his house.

I know what you're going to say. I was being super intrusive lately but this guy was too much of a mystery.

He looked up clearing his throat his dimples peeking on both sides. "How bout this...you make a choice between the answer to that question or your phone," he held the object above my height dangling it trying to make me jump.

Placing my hands on my hip I shot him an 'a you for real' kinda look. Reaching up I grabbed the phone out of his hand muttering to myself about him being a jerk.

The wind blew through my hair tickling his face in the process. A few of my curls draped themselves on his neck and whipped his soft cheeks.

In short, they were making actions that my hands didn't have the guts to do.

"Look Shay, I'd like to tha...th-" he stopped again unable to get the word out. Then staged having word vomit.

"Are you trying to thank me?" I squinted my eyes giving a sheepish smile.

"Yeah, but the words keeps getting stuck in my throat," he smirked.

"Mhm, sure," I replied unconvinced.

I felt my phone buzz in my hand, clicking it off I looked back up at him shifting from side to side. "Don't worry I already checked your messages to save you the trouble."

"Oh, how thoughtful," I told him dryly my voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Most were from Ian," he clicked his tongue on the roof of his mouth his face tense. I made an O shape with my mouth nodding my head vigorously.

We continued to stare at each other. I bit my lips nervously slowly inching forward. He broke our gaze backing away and leaning against the rail running his hands through his hair shutting his eyes.

"Don't do that Shay, it drives me insane," he gestured to my lip bitting. I quickly stopped looking confused walking up to him but he just moved away further.

"...and don't wear things like that infront of me or other guys unless you want to give the wrong impression," he looked away from my body meeting my eyes. I looked down at my appearance and realized why. Everything I was doing was as if I was sending him a message and he was getting mixed signals. On the other hand, I was having an unlabeled 'thing' with his brother.

"Why'd you stay back to help me at the school?" he asked. "I just want the truth."

"I...because I-" the time when I needed to speak up nothing  made their way up like I couldn't find the right words to tell him what I really felt.

He made me so nervous and I couldn't tell him the truth because I was scared that the feelings wouldn't be reciprocated.

My mouth opened and closed a few times while he waited with an anxious expression. My phone buzzed once more in my hand, and Ian's name lit up across the screen.

Noticing it, he shot me a disappointed grin. "God!" He exclaimed walking up to me letting out a short cynical laugh.

"I'm an idiot. Cause I thought for one second that I wouldn't have to feel guilty anymore." He shook his head looking above my height.

"What? What are you talking about? Guilty for what?" I asked becoming confused at what he was getting at. My heart rate accelerating when he met my eyes staring deep into them.

"For wanting what I want."

"Ryder..." I said lowly my voice barely audible. He must've thought I was just playing around with his feelings. So this was a risk I couldn't take without him thinking that.

He shot me a half-hearted sad smile.

"I know. Believe me, I get it...Brothers girl and all." He shoved his hands deep in the pockets of his leather jacket. My heart dropped watching him go.

I stood still not knowing whether to chase him or let him walk away. The thought of grabbing him by the collar and letting my hormones do the rest crossed my mind but quickly fleeted when my subconscious told me that I'd never have the capability to do such an atrocious thing.

He starts to leave then stops halfway down the stairs.

"No! No, you know what? If I'm gonna feel guilty about something, I'm gonna feel guilty about this." Within three long strides he placed one of his hands on the side of my neck and the other on the small of my back pushing me closer to his toned chest.

Then Ryder Haynes kissed me.

It was so fast but a whirlwind of emotions swarmed through my body making me react quickly. His lips felt so soft against mine and I could tell he was trying to control himself with how slow and passionate it was which I loved.

In so little time I felt so much.

His minty breath fanning my face after he broke away. The sound of our synced heavy breathing. The way his dimples poked out of his cheek with me still shocked as ever. It was everything and more than I'd hoped it to be.

"Goodnight," he whispered tucking my hair behind my ear leaving me swooning. He walked away getting into his car and driving off out of the street.

I stood there touching my lips softly. "Yass girl yass!" I felt my slutty self cheer me on imagining her pump her fists in the air.

I ran my hands through my thick hair my cheeks getting sore from how wide I was grinning.

I didn't feel scared about how I felt anymore. Because Ryder took that risk for me.