Say You Won't Let Go

Truthful Lies

But, I know she is hurting me. I can see the damage. I can see the blood oozing from me, but I can't feel it. I can't feel how she ruins me. I can only feel how she makes my heart flutter, no matter how damaged its wings are.

Something catches my eye from the open window revealing the hallway.

Lauren is walking through the hallway, her head hung down. Her steps aren't rushed, she strolls leisurely through the corridor. Her dark blue jacket hangs off her body, her emerald eyes contrasting with the color of her coat.

Just at the sight of her, I can feel my veins throbbing in my arms. She is in my blood; I can feel my heart pulsing her. That's why my heart jumps whenever I see her, it wants to reconnect with her.

Taking a deep breath, I stand up unexpectedly, going to leave and run after Lauren. Mr. Gill coughs loudly, which throws me harshly back to earth.

"Sit down, Miss Cabello." He instructs sternly, pointing to my chair with the tip of his pencil.

Glancing around, I see everyone's eyes on me. I slowly sit down, my heart pounding against my ribcage. While everyone removes their eyes from me, Normani's stay.

"You looked like you were about to run after the love of your life." Normani whispers to me, her eyes wide. "What was that all about?"

"I—I don't know." I sigh, not really lying but not telling the truth either. "It's a weird feeling."

"You can always tell me." Normani suggests, keeping her tone innocent. She doesn't want to pressure me into telling her anything.

"I know." I take a deep breath. Normani told me about her crush on Dinah so why shouldn't I tell her about this?

Normani moves her hand so it's on mine, smiling at me assuringly. I attempt to reflect her smile but it's hard. Everything has been hard lately.

"I've been thinking about this a lot." I start out, keeping my eyes down. "And I can't wrap my brain around it. I can only feel it."

"What is it?" Normani seems scared now. "You aren't sick, are you?"

"No, I'm not sick." I quickly assure her, grabbing her hand and squeezing it once. "It's something else."

"Well, go on." Normani urges when I pause for a few seconds too long. I shut my eyes for a second before blinking them open.

"You know that feeling when you're so wrapped up in one person that everything blurs except he—them?" I cough when I almost use a pronoun. "When that one person talks to you, even looks at you, and your heart goes into overdrive and all you can hear is the person's voice and the pounding sound of your heart in your ears?"

"Of course." Normani nods slowly, like her brain is trying to catch up with my heart. Then it clicks. "Aww, does little Mila like someone?"

"Shut up and let me finish." I growl playfully, narrowing my eyes at the girl. "When someone's words get twisted into your brain and you can't help but replay them all day? How the thought of someone's skin makes yours set fire?"

"Someone's skin." Normani mimics, making me glower at her again. She just laughs.

"When you're so drawn to someone, it's like a rope is connecting you two? How someone's soul is so messily intertwined with yours, it rocks your brain?" I find myself running my fingers through my hair as I say this—a trait I've continued from Lauren.

"Yes." Normani drawls, just wanting me to get to the point. I respect that, but at the particular moment, I'd rather stay talking.

"When you can hear someone in every note of a song; when an aspect of them is in every color and every emotion of that color?" I ramble on, my feelings for Lauren practically glowing in my heart.