This was requested by @1-800_get_help Thank you for being my first actual request and liking my writing I really appreciate it!
Also i really love this picture of Yuta asdfghjkl
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I feel like a six out of ten...
I stand in the lunch line, holding the tray close to my chest, waiting for an opening to take a chance at some food. An opening comes up, and a sliver of hope runs through my veins, then taken away by tall, broad shoulders.
He turns around and stops when he sees me right behind him, eying the food. "Oh, I'm sorry, was this yours?" My eyebrow twitches, food can't technically be mine... that wasn't the best choice of words. I just gave him a wide eyed look and he just plops the food on my tray.
"Here you go! I didn't need it anyway." He smiled at me and walked away before I could say anything.
"A- Thank you!" I tell him, a little too loudly. I attract some stares, but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I shrug and head out the line, not before grabbing a carton of milk.
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I've got to get up early tomorrow again...
My alarm clock blaring, I grumble and shut my alarm clock off. Throwing my bedsheets off my body and onto my floor, I look into the mirror and observe my outrageous bedhead. Glaring at my reflection, I grab the nearest comb and try to tame my hair, afterwards trying to fix my face.
My planner lay on my desk and I picked it up, glancing at it before packing it in my backpack to bring to school. Then I see something outlined in a blue marker.
'Review worksheet for Math tomorrow,' Followed by three exclamation points. I don't recall working on math last night...
"Dammit! Stupid, stupid stupid!" I hit myself in the head lightly a few times and I head out my house after I get ready.
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What goes on behind the words?
I take my earbuds out when I reach school grounds and I check my watch. There was barely anyone there, just a few other kids. Probably because it was only 6:40... I really have to wake up later.
Remembering I had to work on my math assignment, I head to the library to work on as much as I can. On my way there, I hear a faint voice yelling.
"I know! I'm not eating today so you don't even have to worry about me! I'll take up less of the house anyway, isn't that what you want?" Wow, what's going on? Are they okay? Oh, it's none of my business... but I've definitely heard that voice before. Think, think, think.
That boy from yesterday, I think I have first period with him, Yuta? The Japanese exchange student. He doesn't sound like he's very comfortable here.
Footsteps grow nearer and I bolt away to the library before they can get any closer.
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Is there pity for the plain girl?
I get pushed around a lot, I'm basically the perfect victim for bullying both physically and emotionally. But today was bad, real bad. I'd had the truth spat out at me, 'Ugly bitch! Get out of the way,' I remember someone saying. And I've been nose to nose with quite a few lockers.
But, why doesn't anyone go easy on me? Is it that hard to be a decent person? I wouldn't know, I'm not the epitome of beauty, myself.
Speaking of beauty, I pass by the prettiest girls in my grade on the way to the gym lockers. I sigh at their impeccable beauty and compare it to mine. Compared to them, I look like a six out of ten. Maybe even less, I'm being generous here.
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Can you see the panic inside?
Rapid breathing follows my body and mind as I gasp for air. My hair is grasped and I'm again inhaling chlorine and salt. Why did this have to happen to me? Why me?
Whoever did this to me laughed and walked away, leaving me to catch my breath and my sanity. A tear falls from my eyes but you can barely see it amongst the water on my face, but it felt significantly warmer than the rest.
I dry my hair and head to my next class, cursing at the inside pool they just installed. The boy, Yuta, approaches me and talks to me about the homework we had yesterday night and I went along with it. I wonder if he can see through my smile and notice what's behind my eyes.
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I'm making you uneasy aren't I?
We'd been pretty close friends for a while, I've got to say he was a score. Nice, attractive, and mature. I've seen through his eyes, I've seen his pain.
I'd arrived early and it happened again... he was arguing with another male voice, and I'm getting more and more worried by the day. I took a deep breath and approached him a few moments after it happened.
"Yuta, what happened back there? Are you okay?" I asked, a reluctant hand on his shoulder. His eyes changed, like there were curtains pulled back, revealing a secret no one could ever know. But they were shut closed, and the same blank eyes shot back at mine.
"It's fine, really, just an argument with my big brother. It happens." He smiled and started walking, leaving me behind with a hand grasping onto empty air. He avoided eye contact...
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I know that you don't want me here...
"Yuta! How were you today? You weren't at the coffee shop we were going to on Friday..." It had been a painfully long weekend because I hadn't seen Yuta at all, even on Friday. We usually see each other after school, but he hadn't shown up, which was weird. He'd never missed out on us hanging out before. Then again, I remember him saying something about soccer, but he usually practices by himself on Wednesdays, the soccer team takes over the field on... Fridays...
"Uh, Y/n, sorry but I can't go today! Sorry!" He starts rushing and it didn't seem like he was paying attention at all to what I was saying.
I just brush it off, with no real excuse, so it was nagging at the back of my head during the rest of the day. After class, I went to him to talk about the homework, but he packed his things quickly and joined a group of boys in the hallways.
Was that the soccer team? I'd seen a few of them wear soccer jerseys the other day. Whatever, maybe they just all share a love of soccer, what could it have to do with Yuta actually joining the soccer team? Anyway, I'm happy that he'd found some friends.
But he kinda left me behind.
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A/n: I'm so sorry about the gigantic hiatus, I'm on a semi one right now, because the American school system is just great, dumping me with homework and the need to study. I'm also making planner covers for my friends and it's becoming a bit of a burden. Anyway, this book is only for fun and I never thought I'd get a decent amount of spotlight but wow! 2.41k reads! Thanks guys 😖
