Thirsty

Park Jimin

After my embarrassing breakdown Hobi stayed for another hour, missing his class to make sure I was ok. I forced him out afterwards, though, I don't want him to get in trouble. I'm really glad we were able to work everything out and now I have a true legit friend I can talk to about everything.
I lay back on my bed and just stare at the ceiling trying not to think about what Yoongi's doing right now. Why'd he ditch his classes? Surely it wasn't because of me? He's not one to care about other people being around. I keep replaying seeing him in the hall and basically getting rejected.
I'm in the process of talking myself out of going to his room when Tae comes back. He's smiling widely as he runs full force and jumps on me. I heave out a huge breath as he collapses on me.
         "Tae! Uh.." I gasp as he rolls off me with a smirk. 
          "So what did you and Hobi hyung talk about? He seemed awfully happy when I saw him.." he teases. I roll my eyes and pout.
         "I already told you! We're just friends." I sigh. "Besides, what about you and Kookie?" I expertly dodge his next probing questions by deflecting.
         "What?" His eyes widen in surprise and I smirk back at him. Yeah, he totally likes Kookie.
        "Come on, I see how you look at him and him at you." I shrug.
         His eyes light up. "Wait! He looks at me, too?" He asks, happily.
         "Yup. You two look good together, you know? Perfect match." I say positively.  
        "You know what? You and Hobi look like a perfect match, too." He hints not so subtly and I huff.
         "Tae!"
         "Ok, ok I'm sorry. Just speaking the truth." He pouts and push his face away making him fall off my bed. "Ow!"
         "You'll survive." I laugh when he scowls at me with a cut on his arm. He holds it close and whines.
         "Why don't you go have Kookie kiss it better." I suggest and he looks at me like I'm crazy.
          "You think he would? It would be dangerous for him, though. I wouldn't want to hurt him." He grabs a dirty shirt and cleans the blood off.
         I frown questionably. "Why would it hurt him?" I don't get it.
         Tae eyes me in shock. "Did you forget its dangerous for us to drink from others of our kind. That's a basic rule from birth." He says, concerned.
         I blush in embarrassment, realizing I just slipped up. I should have learned that. It was probably in that book Mrs. Kim gave me.
"Oh, right. Sorry, wasn't thinking." I laugh, playing off nonchalantly. He accepts it and goes to take a shower. Did Yoongi drink from Hobi? He had his blood all over him...but surely he knows better..I give up on not thinking about Yoongi and sit up. I check my reflection in the mirror before leaving the room to stalk-I mean check on my obsession.
I'm worried something's wrong since he wasn't any any classes. What if he did drink some of Hobi's blood and now he's really sick?! I try to keep calm as I sneak to his room and hesitantly knock on his door. I just want to make sure he's alive. That's all, really.
"H-hyung?" I call out quietly.
No answer.
I try again but receive nothing. I give up and make my way back down the hall, dejectedly. I don't want to go back to my room right now and be teased all night so instead I decide to venture out to the various room, classes, and libraries around. I've been here for about two months now and haven't been up to much exploring.
       Just under the floor of dorms is a hall of classes and farther down is a library Tae told me isn't used much anymore. Apparently the school has five libraries which is complete ridiculous in my opinion. Who needs five libraries! And the one closest to the dorms is the most unused.. doesn't make sense to me, really. Tae told me the biggest library on the first floor is used by almost all the students for study halls and such.
       Since I'm not in a social mood I decide to explore the practically invisible library. Seriously? It's crazy it's nearly impossible to spot, the door blends in with the wall that unless you know where it is you'll never find it. I press it open and step inside. It's pretty dark with only the receding light from the huge windows to light up the space.
        It's been seriously neglected by all the dust on everything. For the smallest of all it's still pretty big with a staircase raising to another floor for more stacks and tables for studying. I weave my way through all the old stacks of books and explore the abandoned titles. I notice most of them are about human society and ethics. Vampire morals and such.
        None really appeal to me so I leave them and look up. It's eerie and silent, creepy to be alone on such a desolate area. I feel like I'm the only person in existence here. I can actually see myself hiding out here in the future. Exploring something new every day. It's one of those places with secret nooks and crannies everywhere. I love it, actually.
       Tiring of the first floor, I take the staircase slowly to the next level but pause when I hear...something. I frown, not understanding the sound right away. Is that..I hear it again and blush when I finally realize. Someone moaning. Are people having sex up there? God, that's embarrassing. I'm almost to the top when I figure it out.
      I can actually see two hard heads over the tables in the corner but can't see who. I decide to give them privacy and turn to go back down when my foot makes the stairs creak. I flinch and bite my lip hoping they didn't hear. I stay still.
       "D-did you hear that?" A girl asks as she gasps from whatever's happening up there.
        "Who gives a fuck! Now shut up and bend over." My heart stops at that voice. I know that voice by heart. Yoongi? I can't do it. I can't look over and check for certain. He wouldn't, would he? Of course he would, dumbass! Did you think you were special? You're just another notch on his long belt.
       Swallowing hard, I get over myself and look over the tall banister to see my worst fears come to light. Yoongi is naked from the waist down and his shirt is wide open as a pair of silky white legs wrap around his hips. The girl' skirt is up over her stomach and her shirt is undone revealing her red lady bra.
       I slide down and let my butt hit the step as I hold back my sobs. Sure, knowing he does this is one thing, but actually having to witness it...especially after last night...I choke back my cries as tears freely run down my cheeks as Im forced to listen to their sounds  passion. Why did I have to come in here? Why did I have to be curious? Why am I...so stupid?
       I decide I don't want to stay and torture myself anymore so I get up and run down the stairs not caring if I'm hear or not. They're too busy with each other to even notice me anymore anyway. Just as I reach the door I realize I can't go out like this. People will ask question that I don't want to answer so I step back from the door and go back to the farthest part of the room and sit down between the unseen stacks.
       I let myself cry until my heart no longer hurts-it's just numb-and at back against the wall. About twenty minutes later I hear them coming down the stairs. I peak around to see the stupid, beautiful girl kiss his cheek. He pushes her away and scoffs, wiping off her kiss.
       "Don't touch me, Jisoo." He glares as he walks towards the exit. She pouts and grabs his hand.
       "Don't be mad, Yoongi-ah! What made you change your mind anyway? I thought you didn't want me not that I'm complaining." She asks, trying to sound cute but it just sounds fake to me. I hate her. I hate him. They look good together...
        "I don't want you. You were just a convenient way to pass the time and now I'm bored of you. Do yourself a favor and stop throwing yourself at me. It's fucking pathetic." He hisses and shoves her away. Shockingly, she seems completely unfazed by his actions and just brushed by him to leave.
       I watch silently as he runs his fingers through his hair and lets out an irritated sigh. The fingers that were recently touching that girl. My breath catches on my throat as he walks out as well, slamming the door behind him. I sit with my arms wrapped around my knees as I reflect on myself and what I've let become of me.
       I always knew he was this type of guy but still...I can't stop myself from wanting to throw myself into his arms. I'm just as pathetic as that stupid girl. What right do I have to judge her? He's not my boyfriend or anything. I lay down and curl up, closing my eyes to fight off my sudden headache from crying so much.
      He always told me I was nothing to him so this shouldn't hurt me as much as it does. He didn't even start last night. It was me who begged him to touch me, bite me. Shame washes over me and more tears rush to the surface. I'm shamed of myself for appearing so needy around him. It's all my fault. I deserve this.